


Any Day Darling: A Feysand Story

by yourstrulyevp



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, F/M, Post-A Court of Frost and Starlight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:29:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 30,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23533093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourstrulyevp/pseuds/yourstrulyevp
Summary: Eight years after the fall of Hybern, Feyre, Rhysand and the inner circle travel to The Spring Court to celebrate Calanmai with the other Lords. After uncovering a plot to entrap Feyre in Tamlin's palace once again, the fate of Prythian becomes murkier than ever before, even in the northern-most peaks of the Illyrian Steppes. With war brewing to the south and a steep price hanging over her head, Feyre must face an unknown challenge; pregnancy.How will Feyre and Rhysand deal with the pressures of pregnancy? When will Nesta get a little nicer? Will Tamlin finally lose his cool for good and who is this mysterious baker Mor believes is her mate? All this and more in the exciting fan-expansion of Sarah J Maas's world-renowned ACOTAR series!First Published on Wattpad in 2018
Relationships: Elain Archeron/Azriel, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan (ACoTaR)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. The Return

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All! Just a few things to know before you hop in.  
> First off, be aware that throughout the story there may be some style, tone, and continuity errors from the first chapters to the later portions; I began writing this story the summer before my junior year in high school, and now I am about to begin a BFA in Creative Writing, so my style has changed. I am currently working on going through and editing my earlier chapters now.  
> Second, there are some smutty bits to the story, but I try to keep smutty chapters at a minimum and not plot-heavy so you can skip them if you wish. I believe there is only one smutty chapter as of now, but I'm sure there will be more in the future. I will have a warning before smutty chapters (although if you don't like smut, I don't know how you read Sarahs Books)  
> Finally, this story was originally posted on Wattpad and will be posted on both sites from now on. There may be some slight inconsistencies between the two stories (like updated chapter names or edits), but know it is the same story, and I am the original author. 
> 
> Happy Reading!  
> Yours Truly,  
> EVP

Trumpets flared as we winnowed into the newly built town square of my old home. The city that had once been a village miles away from the estate now spread all the way to the main gates. Trumpeters and fiddle players lined the shops and houses as the delegates arrived in the newly refurbished town square. We were due to arrive at five in the afternoon, so in true night court fashion, we winnowed in at five fifteen. The trumpets still played for us, regardless of our late arrival, and some guard shouted of our arrival. With my feet safely on the ground and my hand in Rhys’s, I looked towards the crowd and immediately regretted deciding to come. 

A week prior, Elaine barged into my studio, announcing that a letter from the spring court had come. That we were all invited to celebrate Calanmai in the spring court, for the high lord was to choose a wife. I ended the class early and rushed home to find Rhys in just as large of a panic as I.

✩✩✩

_"We don't have to go." Rhys insisted, "We can decline; I'm sure another court will decline."_

_"Rhys, the shadows say that everyone has already accepted," Az said from his corner of the room. Rhys swore loudly, his paces quickening._

_"Ok...ok..um then I'll go alone. Make a presence and get out of there."_

_"Rhys, no," I said, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to stand still. "What kind of message does it send to other courts, to OUR court, if only one of our leaders goes to represent us all. We are equal, Rhys. Some courts are only now coming to that realization. We can't push ourselves back."_

_"You shouldn't have to go tho. I promised you that you wouldn't have to go back." He said, " Why would I want you going back to a place that was your own personal hell?" I sighed and looked up at him. His eyes were cold and distant, fearful._

_"Guys, can you give us a minute?" I asked the room at large. Everyone shuffled out as I lead Rhys to the couch. I sat on his lap and tilted his head up. "I can't hide from him forever, Rhys. It's been seven years; I can't wait forever."_

_"Seven years is like a blink of an eye."_

_"Not for me. Not yet, at least. I still haven't fallen into your immortal grumpiness." I teased. I poked his nose, but he didn't look up or smile. "Eventually, we will need to face him. Together. Why not now? I mean, it is a celebration?" Rhys finally looked back up at me. He kissed every corner of my face with his eyes, now gentle and soft. He sighed after a minute and said: "I suppose now would be a good time, seeing as there's no major conflict between any court, and you're right, it would send a message for only one of us to go."_

_"Then it's settled. We're going. All of us. Elaine and Nesta can watch over the city." I kissed my mate gently on his lips before moving my lips to his ear. "Plus, who knows? He's choosing his wife on Calanmai. Maybe we can fuck up his rite and give everyone a little show." I whispered, my teeth grazing his ear lobe as I pulled away._

✩✩✩

All of my efforts to come were forgotten when I looked at the fae crowding the streets. Not clapping as they had done for the others, or booing like I had feared, but cheering. Cheering and shouting in joy at me as I walked down the streets with my mate. Some even held pained signs that said things like "thank you!" And "welcome back." It hit me as we continued down the square road that I had abandoned all these fae in the hands of a monster. Every single last one of them. Rhys could feel my thoughts and only held my hand tighter as he waved. I soon followed suit at waving to the fae. They cheered louder. 

From behind me, I heard a loud laugh. I looked back to find Helion and Lucien laughing their heads off. Lucien told Helion something along the lines of 'I told you so' and kept laughing. I turned back around to Rhys with a small smile. 

_Can we just take them all back with us?_ Rhys said down our bond. 

_I wish._

Once we exited the main square, the decorations started to appear. Red roses lined the streets, petals beneath us. I rolled my eyes and looked to Rhys.

_Can I hate him more?_ He asked 

_I think you can, and just reached the maximum level_

The other lords came into our sight as we rounded the peak of the hill. Everyone was spaced out by quite a few yards, and some were already in the estate. There was no doubt that our party was the largest. Most fae don’t travel with their second, third, commander, and spymaster to every occasion. Or At least they don’t bother showing them off in public. In front of us was the high lord and lady of the winter court. Mor let out a little squeal when she saw Viviane. 

"Look at her with her crown, all empowered and equal and shit." She said, beaming like a mad man. 

"Mor, remember, professionalism," Cassian said, clapping Mor on the back. Mor shoved his hand off her shoulder and laughed. 

"Cass, we have to strap seven death gems to you just to take you out of the house. I don't know how you even know the word professionalism." 

"Mor, I'm surprised you notice the 'death gems' over my huge wings." 

"Why you-"

"Guys!" I said sternly. The manchildren behind me muttered sorry and looked at the ground. 

_And you call me a mother hen_. Rhys said. Kallias and Viviane were already inside the gates we were approaching. The wall seemed to loom over the inner circle as they got closer. Rhys pulled my hand over and swept an arm around my waist. 

_I got you_

And so I entered the gates of my prison, but this time, I entered with the family who showed me the way out. 


	2. The Rumble

The entry hall was just as I remembered, except it wasn't in complete tatters and there was actual fae in the hall. It wasn't the dark empty place I remembered from my months trapped in the mansion, or the false happiness that was created so I would stay. The hall actually felt merry. The type of cheerful we felt on that first Summer solstice. Rhys pulled me closer to his warm body. I could feel his wings quiver. The others stiffened behind us. Cass and Az became our bodyguards, surrounding us, their wings spread and perky. Even Mor and Amren were tense.

All of the High fae of the spring court, scattered around the hall, fell silent once they recognized our presence. Footsteps resinated, but no moving feet were to be found. You could tell they walked heavily on the heel. Tamlins feet. He appeared at the top of the grand staircase, in his typical green and gold. His hair was down; it was longer. I could feel Rhysands anger radiating off him. I squeezed his hand tighter to keep him from growling.

"Welcome, High Lord," Tamlin said, bowing his head to Rhys. "Lady." He took a long sip of his wine, his eyes piercing mine. He turned away from the staircase, stalking back to the second-floor conference room. The chatter resumed around the room. You could physically see the tension in the room drop, unlike ours, which only rose.

_ Where do we go? I don't See Kallias and Viviane.  _ I said

_ Maybe the tool decided not to tell us, so we look like fools. _

_ Very possible _

A male fae walked towards us wearing a stuffy suit that had Tamlin written all over it. There were no wrinkles, bow tie perfectly straight. It was the perfect illusion of normalcy. There was no way in hell the broken immortal man who wanted to die turned everything around in a simple seven years. I couldn't believe it. The male reached us, Bowing slightly before saying, "High lord, high lady, Lord Tamlin is waiting for you and the others to join him in his study." I tensed. The study. But Tamlin hadn't walked into the study, or even near it. He went to the old conference room, where he met with the Hybern guests that summer. Still, I nodded to the male and made to leave, but before we could, he stopped me and whispered, "Welcome back, Lady Feyre. Cauldron bless you." He scampered away like a mouse. Was it perhaps his mask all those years ago? Rhys snapped me out of my thought with a squeeze on my hip. Thank the mother he did. The further I go into my thoughts, the harder it is to retrieve me. Rhys is like that, too, especially on harder days. The ones that make us feel weak, where we can't exist like we usually do, the days when we aren't our selves. Rhys calls it the heavy days. The days when I don't remember what I can do. That I single handily tore apart the very Court I'm in today. That I rallied gods to kill for me. That I have more power than all the High Lords that sit upstairs, and I wasn't even born one of them. I have to remember that today. 

Rhys released my hip and held my hand as we walked towards the stairs. If I thought people were staring before, I could have never prepared myself for the looks our party got as we claimed the hand stairwell, for people had noticed our clothes. Pitch black, like the darkness my mate and I can create. I custom ordered clothing for all of us made from pure void Years ago, for the next time we all gathered. After all, the night court does like to make an entrance. And with all eyes on us, my family and I reached the top of the stairs and entered the conference room.

✩✩✩

The man who had told me to be happy before he resurrected my mate all those years ago was long gone. So was the pitiful man Rhys had seen. Instead, the man who strode into our council meeting in the dawn court before the war sat at the head of the table. He had the same look, same grin, as he did the day I died. The day he killed Amarantha. The smile of a wolf looking at its prey. 

"Well, if someone didn't know who was from the night court, they sure know now." He drooled.

"Why, thank you, Tamlin. My  _ mate _ found a quite a wonderful Weaver. She calls the fabric Void." Rhys said as he slid into the seat at the opposite head of the table. I stoop behind the chair, holding the tips of the frame, reflecting 

Tamlin's smug smile right back at him. Mor and Amren fell right to my side, the boys slightly behind. 

From across the table, Tamlins fangs appeared dangling out of his mouth. "I hope you don't scare the village faelings in the dark clothing. They are used to  _ happiness,  _ after all." Rhys' spine straightened, and his mind closed off slightly. He was trying to keep the anger inside. Just being around Tamlin drove him crazy. 

_ Sensitive Illyrian  _ I purred to him 

_ Don't tell me you're not pissed at him too.  _ I let out a small laugh, causing the room to stare daggers at me. Before anyone could say something I shot out, "thank you for such a warm welcome Tamlin, the villagers were so excited." I moved from behind his chair and perched myself on the arm since it seemed that this whole trip would be about power plays. As if to prove it, Helion and Lucien strolled into the room chuckling to themselves. They abruptly stopped when they felt the tension they were only adding too. For this would be the first time, all the high lords had been together since Helion claimed his son. 

Even with the tension, the high lord still had his humor. He let out a low whistle and said, "wrong time? We can come back later." No one laughed as the two took their seats. Beron started at the wall to avoid eye contact with the male he once thought was his son. At the end of the table, Tamlin gave his old friend a light smile before standing. 

"Now that we are all here," He began, "I feel entitled to tell you more about why I have invited you all here." Tarquin snorted as if to say 'about damn time.' Tamlin ignored him. " I have invited you all to not only celebrate fire night but to celebrate with me as I pick a wife and to see my rebuilt Court. If I do recall, only one of you have bothered to visit me since my Court was viciously destroyed, and it wasn't a merry meeting." 

_ Damn straight, it wasn't _ . Rhys said.  _ Big shocker, this one is just the same.  _

"When was the last time we were all together anyway?" Tamlin said to the room at large, glaring right at me 

"Summer solstice, six years ago," Tarquin said. "I remember because you lot drank half my good wine." 

_ Can we move this along?  _ Rhys said. I could feel his eyes roll  _ if we have to listen to him talk, I might go nuts.  _

_ What if I told you,  _ I purred at him,  _ that I brought your favorite little red dress _ . I sent him an image of me in that little red dress too. 

Rhys coughed loudly as I looked down to see his pants rise. 

_ You wicked, wicked girl  _

"Anyways, we should all-" Tamlin kept droning on and on about how he rebuilt his cities anew, but I wasn't listening. I was paying attention to the rumble in the pit of my stomach. I felt as though I might puke my guys out. Frantically, I shot down to Rhys,  _ Rhys, something's wrong. I don't feel Right.  _

Although his face stayed calm, the voice inside my head was frantic.  _ What happened? Do you think it's here?  _

_ No, it's something else. Let's just get to our rooms before anyone notices.  _

In response, Rhys coughed loudly, causing Tamlin to pause. 

"Although I love hearing you talk almost as much you do," Thesan chuckled, " I really would love to freshen up before we all attend this ball you mentioned." His voice was slow, all too planned. 

"Ah, yes. I just apologize that I don't have enough gusts suites as we had at the dawn court way back when, so I'm afraid it's bedrooms for some of you." He said, with a cats smile on his face. "I'll gladly have servants escort you to these rooms. Although some of you may know just how to get there." Even while using most of my will power not to puke everywhere, I still could have spared some to punch him. Everyone shuffled in their chairs to stand. My hand shot straight to Rhys 

"Oh, Rhysand," Tamlin said. Rhys turned to him, eyes seeping with cold rage. "Should you need some clothing for certain members of your....posse, I have plenty of dresses around here somewhere. Wouldn't want any accidents tonight, would we?" 

"What are you insinuating,  _ lord _ ?" Az said, siphons glowing. But Tamlin was gone, Had winnowed away. 

Rhys and I walked as fast as we could and hurried the servants ready to show us our rooms. Something was very very wrong, I didn't even notice where we were going, I just kept walking. Was it being back? Was I getting my cycle? It's well due now. My mind was so focused on not spewing everywhere that I didn't even notice the room we walked into. As soon as the door shut, I bolted for another door in the room. To my luck, it was a bathroom. I lent over the toilet and vomited everywhere. As I spilled my guts, Rhys pulled my hair back and stroked my back. It kept me planted in reality and not in my worry. When I was done, I slumped back onto my mate, who wrapped his arms around me. The room filled with his calm darkness. Once I caught my breath, I turned myself around to look at him. His eyes were gentle and soft, like his hands that kept moving up and down my spine 

_ Rhys?  _

_ Yes, Feyre darling?  _

_ I...I'm scared.  _ I admitted. He wrapped his wings around me and pulled me closer. 

_ He is not going to hurt you. He can't. You won't let him; you'll kick his ass  _ Rhys said. He was right but,

_ That's not what I'm worried about. I've never felt this before. It was different, almost like-  _ I gasped. My eyes widened. 

"How quickly can you get Madja?"


	3. The Discovery

I realized that He had put us in my old bedroom: the first one, the one he wreaked upon my leaving. After Rhys had sent Amren to get Madja and I returned to the main room, I sat upon the bed. It was a different mattress I realized. The other must have been shredded to bits. Rhys noticed the tears falling from my eyes and gathered me in his arms. 

_ It's not too late to go home, darling. You've fallen ill. It's perfectly acceptable. _

_I won't be seen as weak. Never again._ Calm darkness filled the room as Rhys wings wrapped around me. 

_ Rhys?  _

_ Yes darling  _

_ This is my old room.  _ He took a sharp breath. I could feel the anger rise in his blood. I looked up at him. His eyes were cold, but as he tilted his head down to look at me, they softened. They filled with a pain I didn't see often. The pain that sometimes came randomly when talking to Nesta. The pain of nightmares and flashbacks and heavy days. 

"This was a mistake." He whispered. 

I shook my head. 

"We did what we needed to do. We need to be here, Rhys. We can't just leave." 

"I know." 

Amren and Madja appeared in the room. 

"What's going on, my lady?" She asked urgently, setting her bag down next to me. Amren was gone as soon as she arrived, without anything more than a pop. 

"I..I was sick, and I thought it might have to do....with my cycle." 

"You only vomit when in severe pain on your cycle." She said. She motioned for me to lay down.

"Well, it's more...the lack thereof." Rhys grasped my hand. He was perched next to me on the bed. "I mean, I could be nothing just fear but-" 

_ " _ You think you're pregnant?" She said,

"I..I mean it's a possibility." Rhys looked even more worried than he had before. Madja lifted my dress until it was above my abdomen. She reached into her bag and pulled out multiple small clear crystals. She hovered her hand over my stomach for a moment before looking up at me. 

"Congratulations, High Lady." 

A small noise broke from me as I shot up, crystals flying off my stomach. Rhys smiled, but fear was in his eyes. I lunged into him with a smile on my face. He wrapped his arms around me and hurried his hair in mine. 

I'm pregnant. 

_ I'm pregnant _

There is a little life inside me. 

Oh, Mother, a child is growing inside me. 

I looked up at him, tears of joy in my eyes. They were reflected in his own. He kissed me lightly and slowly as his hand wrapped around to my stomach. 

_ " _ I'm pregnant," I whispered. He was full-on crying now. 

"Oh, mother, I'm a dad." He said, and I chucked. 

After a moment, we looked back at Madja. It slowly dawned on me where I was. Who we would be with. 

"Oh shit."


	4. A Decision

I paced around the room long after Madja left. By the late afternoon, everyone had gathered in my old bedroom in hopes of deciding whether to stay or go. 

"As your friend, I say that you should do what makes you most happy and that a little revenge would be nice," Mor said from her spot on the bed. "But as your 3rd in command, I say we need to get the hell out of here."

"I agree." Az said, "this is an incredibly compromising position." 

"That's true," Amren piped up, " but we also have to look at this from a social standpoint. It would look mighty odd to attend, only to leave an hour later." 

"Oh, since when do we care about things looking odd!" Cass waved his arms around as he spoke, "We literally pretended to be scary nighttime bitches for 500 years!"

"Yeah, and we've moved passed that," Mor roared, shooting them into a full-blown argument. 

"Guys," Rhys said. The two continued to argue.

"Guys." He said again. Their arguing only increased.

"GUYS!" I shouted. They both stopped and looked over to me. I stopped pacing for a moment and walked over to his side. 

"This isn't helping. We need to figure out what to do. I think if we leave, things will only get worse, not just with how people look at us, but with our relationships with the other courts."

"And I think it doesn't matter, my mate is pregnant and is not safe in this hell house!" Rhys said with his cool calm voice that made normal fae shutter 

"If we leave now, he will think we are weak, and he will take advantage of it." I walked over to Rhys and looked him dead in the eye. 

"If we leave now, he will see that **I** am weak, and he will see it as an opportunity to try to snatch me back, to take everything away we've worked for. If he sees that I am weak, he will try to take away _this."_ I said, my hand over my stomach. Rhys reached his hand out and put it over mine. We stared at each other, eyes deeply locked for a few minutes. 

"Guys, could you give us a second," Rhys said. Everyone huffed and trudged out of the room. Rhys took my hand and led me to the bed. I perched myself on his lap, his hands were roaming my back. 

"I will _never_ let him hurt you again. Ever. And I will most certainly never let him lay his hands on our child." "But if he finds out, and chooses to attack us, then anything we do against him is gonna bite us in the ass because we are in his turf."

"I know," I whispered. "If we leave right now, think about what that says to him about us. He will know I am scared of him. Trust me. I've been inside his head."

"I know, so have I," Rhys said. After a moment of silence, he spoke again. "Okay, if you think we should stay, then we should stay. But if he steps one single foot out of line, I swear to the cauldron, I will rip his balls off."

"It won't be that hard; they're very small." He chuckled before looking deep into my eyes. 

_I can't believe this is really happening._ Rhys whispered down our bond. _You're really pregnant…_

_I know. Kinda wild, huh?_

✩✩✩

I sat at my old vanity, staring at my reflection as Mor did my hair. Even with seven years of experience, I was still dreadful at anything that could be categorized as feminine. I was a warrior, a painter, and a ruler, NOT a hairdresser. Mor used touches of magic to curl the strands of my wavy hair not tied into the braided bun she had fashioned. It's coils matched the collar of the navy blue gown I had dawned. One of the ones Rhy's mother made. She was already wearing one of her favorite red gowns, thick charcoal lining her eyes. 

"Aaaaaand done!" She said, placing the last pin in my hair. I studied myself in the mirror, hair, and all. She had applied a small amount of makeup to my face, making my eyes pop out. Rhys looked up from his book and stood behind me. 

"You look ravishing, Feyre darling." He pressed his lips to my temple. "Although I can tell Mor did you up, with the eyes and all." 

"Yeah, I'm not terribly fond of them, but they make me look scary." He chuckled. I took his hand and stood up from the old chair. 

"Ready to party, my love?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."


	5. The Ball: Part 1

The ballroom was packed with High Fae from all over Pyrithian. They swept across the ballroom in their elegant dresses and suits, flowing to the rhythm of the string band playing on the small stage. 

When we walked in, two guards on either side of the doors slammed their staffs. The one on the left declared in a big booming voice, "The high lord of the Night Court." They slammed their staffs again. Rhys looked to the announcer and gave a little cough, prodding his head towards me. They slammed their staffs for the third time and declared, "And the High Lady of the Night Court." Before they could slam their sticks again, Rhys pointed to our family behind us. "And the Night Court Delegation." They slammed their staffs a final time as we began to ascend down the stairs into the ballroom. People gave us mixed looks on the ballroom floor. Some were glaring at us like we were coming to take over their court and kill their wives. Some, however, beamed at me with joy and pride. It dawned on me then that I would spend much of the night addressing my former citizens. 

"I think you have a few admirers darling," Rhys muttered to me as we worked our way across the room to the large head table. 

"It appears so. After all," I said, "I am cauldron blessed." He pulled me closer and brought his hand from my back to my stomach. 

"It appears you are Feyre darling." 

The head table sat at the very front of the ballroom, in front of a magnificent stained glass window that was not here when I resided in these halls. Tamlin, and who I assumed were his new advisors sat on either side of him. I couldn't help but note the three guards he had stationed behind his giant chair. Who are you afraid of, Tamlin? 

The other high lords in front of us all stopped in front of the High Lord of Spring and greeted him, even Tarquin, but we simply strode over to our seats. Tamlin has placed us right next to himself, with no barrier between us other than the advisor. 

_ Yah, I don't think so.  _ Rhys said down the bond, as he switched our name cards. Tamlin gaped at him for a moment before returning to his conversation. Before we took our seats however, Rhys interrupted him again. 

"It appears that you have not provided seats for my  _ family _ , at your table, High Lord," Tamlin turned to him, a look of sheer annoyance on his face. 

"Ah, yes. The  _ guests  _ are sitting at a separate table." 

"No, they aren't." Rhys slid his hands into his pockets as the table grew a considerable amount of feet and four chairs, two fit for Illyrian wings appeared before it, "My  _ family _ dines where I dine." Rhys pulled my chair out for me as we all sat down. Tamlin looked like he was about to explode. I tried to stay calm as his claws began reaching out, but my hand shot for Rhys's under the table. I could feel his calm temper rising in him as they had a bit of a staredown. The whole table grew silent and watched the boys. After a moment, Tamlin went back to conversing with Tarquin. The entire ballroom jumped back to life. 

_ Did I mention,  _ Rhys said,  _ that Fae males tend to get very territorial and overprotective when their mates are pregnant?  _

_ You did not,  _ I said back,  _ but honestly, right now, I don't mind.  _

_ I never thought I would hear you say those words, Feyre darling.  _

_ Well, we learn something new every day, don't we?  _

"Um, hello, guys?" Mor said, clinking her spoon against her glass, "Out-loud, please?" 

"Oh, right, sorry," I said to her. 

As the band went on break for dinner and the waiters started going around, Helion and Lucian took their places in front of us at the table. Rhys and I stood to greet them. 

"Rhys, my male." Helion said, grasping his hand and patting his back, "Fayre, how are you?" 

"Well, I'm here, so..." I said. Helion let out a bellowing laugh as he took his seat. When we sat, I found our chairs even closer, as Rhys slipped his hand around my waist. 

"By the way," Helion whispered, "Congratulations." Fear flooded my body and face alike. My walls immediately shot up as I scooted closer to Rhys, who, in turn, moved his arm further around me and put a hand on my thigh. Could he smell it on me? Was I showing? 

"Don't worry. Tam's much too daft to smell it." Helion said. 

"What?" Tamlin said, hearing his name.

"Oh, nothing, just chatting about the festivities." 

I relaxed slightly, but if Helion could smell it, others could too.

A waitress made her way up to the high table not long after. She started on the other end of the table, summoning food from midair. 

"What type of magic might she have to do that?" I asked Rhys quietly. 

"She's likely a summoning spirit of some kind. Otherwise, she may have magic similar to ours, but if she did, she wouldn't be stuck in this job."

As she made her way down the table, Mor became increasingly anxious. I thought maybe it was because she didn't know what wine to order, but when the waitress reached Tamlin, Mor shot up faster than winnowing.

"Feyre." She breathed quickly. "Can I have a word?" I nodded as I slowly stood up. She grabbed my hand and rushed me away from the head table and onto the dance floor. It wasn't like Mor to act like this. She was good at hiding her emotions until she had time to deal with them. Something was seriously wrong.

"'Mor, what's going on?"

"That waitress......She's my Mate"


	6. The Ball: Part 2

I quickly found Mor a few bottles of wine and sent her back upstairs. Rhys had told me that keeping the mating bond from me was physically painful at times, especially in the beginning, so I knew she shouldn't be down there. I suppose it was even more of a reason to go home right then and there, but I couldn't bring myself to. We wouldn't let the spring court have that satisfaction. 

Upon returning to my seat, Rhys gave me a funny look. 

_ Don't worry. Nothings wrong, she's just going through some stuff.  _

_ Are you su- _

_ Yes, I'm sure. It's not my place to tell you. It's hers.  _

People were conversing all around us. Tamlin was in deep conversation with the man to his right and Tarquin about what seemed to be aquatic equestrian life. To my right, Cass, Lucian, and Helion were talking about their recent adventures (and by adventures we mean the houses they accidentally destroyed in the past year), and Amren and Varian had vanished quite completely. I looked away from Rhys and tuned into the conversation just in time to hear Lucian, 

"Azriel, I hear that in the summer you and Elian will wed?" Azriel looked down at his stake and let out a sigh. 

"Yes, yes we will." He braced himself for bad news, but instead, Lucian said, 

"Good. I'm glad that she's happy." Cass tried not to spew wine everywhere out of shock but ended up watering the centerpiece. Az looked shocked too but took it much more gracefully. 

"Oh, she is. I don't remember her being this happy since Nesta rejoined civilization. She's already planning the flowers." 

"Of course she is." 

_ Now that is one selfless male.  _ Rhys said down the bond. 

_ You were willing to do that for me. _

_ Did I ever imply that I am also not selfless and amazing? Not to mention very good in-  _

Tamlin stood up, bringing both of us out of our daze. He clinked his silver spoon against his wine glass as the whole room fell silent. 

"Members of the spring court, high lords, and guests," he addressed the room at large. "Welcome to my home and the Annual Calanmai Ball." Scattered applause thundered around the room. "Tonight is a special night. Not only is it our 5th annual ball since the reconstruction, but it serves another purpose. Tomorrow night at the Great Rite, I will pick a wife to stand beside me through it all, honor her court, and perhaps someday bare my children." More clapping. Some whoops and shouts from the ladies in the audience. "Tonight, I will meet all those lucky ladies who may place their hand in the game. So please! Dance, eat drink and be merry!" 

The band started playing, and people rushed out to the dance floor. Tamlin himself stood up with his thugs and walked onto the floor, where he was greeted by many eager young girls. 

_ He's just like those Kings in old mortal tales, hosting a competition to wed?  _

_ I know, right? It's kinda creepy. _

_ Kinda? Try very.  _

I let out an audible laugh, confusing many at the table, but I let it slide right off my back. Rhys stood and extended his hand to me. 

"Feyre darling, may I have this dance?"

I took his hand and rose from my chair. My hand floated to my stomach without me, even noticing. 

"Of course, love." He guided me away from the table and towards the band. As we neared the conductor, he whispered something in his ear and slipped him a banknote. I couldn't help but laugh as the conductor stopped the song and cued up another. As the cello grew, Rhys lead me out into the middle of the floor. He immediately swept me off my feet and into a dance I barely knew.

_ Follow my lead.  _

So I did. As the violin crept into the music, he swept me around the floor in broad elegant steps. Fae soon started scattering to give us room. The music picked up, and so did we. We began to dance with such fury I was afraid we might leave sparks behind, but even with the strength, we glided like a gentle stream. A viola began to dance across the water we were creating, as we continued to flow across the room. He put his hands around my waist and lifted me in the air for a moment before we were gliding again. As the music picked up to its final notes, Rhys suddenly spun me out and dipped me in his arms upon my return. And with that last note, he kissed me in front of every court. And I kissed him back. The very mother could be watching, but neither of us would have cared. 

People began clapping for our dance.

When we rose, we both gave small little bows to the room. Off to our left, Tamlin looked furious, but I didn't care. I had Rhys next to me, and we were investible then. 

The next song began to play, and we took on a much more straightforward dance, one we could talk through and blend into the crowd with. 

_ Show off _

_ Did you expect anything less? _

Even in our heads, we were quiet for a moment until he pulled me in closer to him, and I rested my head on his shoulder. 

_ Sometimes,  _ he said,  _ when I look at you, I feel like if I don't hold you, kiss you, be with you right then and there, I'll implode. I know it doesn't make sense, but-  _ I leaned up and kissed him slowly. He took one of his hands from the small of my back and cupped my cheek as we continued to sway around the room.

When we broke away, I muttered down the bond,  _ I get it. I feel it too.  _

We were silent for a moment as we drifted. His hand fell from my cheek and rested over my abdomen. Right where our child was growing. 

Our child. There was truly a child growing in my stomach, using my energy to grow and develop. I wonder if he or she would be an Illyrian. I could almost imagine chanting around a little guy with wings around the river house. A tear fell from my eye at the thought. Rhys leaned down and kissed the tear from my cheek. 

_ Sorry, I'm just thinking...I can't believe I'm really carrying our baby.  _

_ I can't either.  _

As the song ended, Lucian approached us. 

"Can I cut in?" He asked Rhys. I could feel Rhys grow tense through the bond. Usually, he wouldn't be jealous and protective of me because of our friend. But I knew it wasn't his fault. I gave him a little nod, and he backed off. Lucan took my hand, and we began to dance. 

"What's going on, Lucan?" I asked him as we danced out of earshot from the majority of the guests. 

"I have to warn you." 

"Of what?" He spun me around. 

"You can't go to the rite tomorrow. It's dangerous." 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"Look, I know Tamlin, and this isn't the type of thing he would broadcast to all of Pytherian." He said, " It's a trap I'm telling you." 

"Lucian, I don't know." I sighed, "I know he's desperate and hates us, but I don't think he would stoop the low."

"You can believe what you want, but I was looking at some documents after you all ran off, and he changed the law. The rite is now legally binding." 

"What?"

"Anyone he chooses for the rite tomorrow night becomes his wife under spring court rule."

I was a little shocked. Apparently, Tamlin was in a worse place than we thought. 

"Well...I'll talk to Rhys. We'll try to leave by tomorrow night."

The song ended, and my old friend bowed to me and walked back into the crowd in the place we used to call home.


	7. The Night

_ The corridor was longer than I had remembered. The stones on either side of me whispered the pain of their inhabitants into my ears like a deadly breeze. Nuala and Cerridwen stood slightly behind me on either side. Protection. They were protection _ .  _ Why Cassian or Az couldn't come with me, I couldn't remember.  _

_ We approached the door of solid dirt and bones. With a touch of my fingertip, it fell into the ground as if it had never been there.  _

_ The bone Carver stood in the middle of the room wearing my son's skin.  _

_ "You," I stuttered," I- I thought you died?"  _

_ "I did." A gentle voice said, one much too small to come from his mouth.  _

_"Then, then how-?" His body began to morph as I felt bile coming up my_ _throat. It shifted and bubbled until a face I thought I would never see again loomed above me._

_ "Don't you see human?" The red-clad body said to me, "He already has." _

✩✩✩

"Breathe" 

I shot up from my nightmare to see Rhys' face above mine. His calm darkness filled the room so I couldn't even see the bed. 

"Breathe, Feyre." 

And I did. Barely. I gasped for air, but my windpipe was clenched so tight only a sliver could make it through. That is until I felt the nausea rush over me, and the bile rise in my throat. Tears still falling from my eyes, I lunged off the bed, hoping to make it to the toilet, but I hunched over and began to still my insides on the carpet instead. 

Rhy's was right behind me, rubbing the circles on my back that I knew so well. It has been a while since I had a nightmare that leads me to this. I usually si woke up and found Rhy's beside me and it was all I needed. But even those were far and few. 

The worst part about being sick is probably dry heaving. Where your body spasms to expel things that aren't even there. After the vomiting and the dry heaving, I was left more exhausted than I was before, and just as terrified. Breathing heavily, I slumped back onto Rhys', who gathered me in his arms in a swift motion and carried me away from the sick and onto my old bed. He didn't let go of me for a second, not even when pulling back the covers. He was keeping me tethered to reality. 

His mind was wrapped around mine like a kitten purring gently to calm me. 

"Breathe," he continued to whisper. 

_ Breathe _

We both had a hand over my abdomen to feel that tiny heartbeat through our sensitive fae skin. Still alive. They're still alive. 

After a few moments when the shakes were gone, and I was breathing normally again, Rhys whispered, "You haven't had one that bad in a while." 

"Yeah. A good long while." 

"Do you want to talk about it?" I just shook my head and nuzzled my nose into his neck. He kept running his hands up and down my spine like he always did when I was upset. After kissing my head, he whispered, "Never again."

"Never again."


	8. The Morning

We were woken by birds chirping outside the window. It was strange to wake up to something almost foreign, not many birds chose to live in the night court, and why would they when they could live somewhere where it's always spring? 

Rhy's wings were wrapped around me like they often did. " _ The cocoon of warmth," R _ hys always joked, but it was more protection. Nothing was getting through those wings to me. His hand still lay over my abdomen, where our child grew. 

_ " _ Good morning, darling." He said from behind me. I turned around to see my mate wide awake. 

"Morning." My voice was tired. 

"You feeling any better?" He muttered through the soft kiss he planted on my lips. 

"Still wonderfully morning sick, mother hen." He flicked my nose. Mother, I loved it when he did that. "but that's good. Means the baby's growing." A smile grew on his face. 

"What?" I asked him, a smile just as big on my face. 

"One word. Baby." He kissed the corner of my mouth, "You," The other corner, "My mate," the tip of my nose, "are carrying my child." I lunged for him, pulling him into a deep kiss. When we broke for air, I slid out from under him and planted my bare feet on the ground. I walked over to the old vanity and examined the small bump you could see through the tight slip I had worn to bed. I had been too uncomfortable in the palace to sleep in the nude like we usually did. But I was glad for it, as the slip hugged my slim figure and showed off the tiny bump where my child grew. I slid my hand over the bump. Perhaps it was my motherly instincts beginning to settle in, but I could almost feel the energy radiating off the fetus. Rhy's joined me, drifting hands across my abdomen. 

_ That's ours, _ he whispered down the bond. 

_ Yah, it is. _ I gripped the vanity chair as I felt a wave of nausea sweep over me. Rhy's hands were on my shoulders instantly 

"Darling?"

"Just trying to keep down my insides. Morning sickness is a bitch." 

"Perhaps a walk in the fresh air would help, through these for lack of a better word, gardens?"

"Elain's put theirs to shame, doesn't it?" 

"It certainly does."

✩✩✩

We strolled through the halls in nothing but our pajamas and dressing gowns. In our own home, Rhys never wore pajamas, only donning boxers if we had to be around other fae in the morning. But I always favored my dressing gown Rhys mother had made all those years ago. He loved it too. 

He wanted to walk out the front doors, but I pulled him through to the kitchens. 

All the kitchen staff came to a halt as we entered. One girl even dropped the tray she was carrying. Some began to curtsy at us, but I shook my head and waved their praise away. They shuffled back to their work again, at a much slower pace. 

"May I?" I asked one of the kitchen staff, pointing at a tray of pastries. 

"Of course Ma'am." Rhy's rolled his eyes at my politeness. He had told me time and time again that it might not be so smart to be as polite to the fae of other courts as I am my own. 

"Sometimes people think it makes us weak," but had given up on that argument long ago. After all, these were the people I left behind. I truly would be a monster if I didn't show them kindness. 

I bit into the flakey pastry and had to contain myself as not to moan from the goodness of the treat.

"By the mother, this is amazing. Who made this?" The kitchen-maid pointed to the female working away at a kneading a large slab of dough. When she turned around, I recognize her face instantly. 

_ Rhys, I have an idea, and it's mildly crazy, but I think it will work.  _

_ What are you talking abo- _

_ Meet me outside, would you, dear?  _ Rhys rolled his eyes but planted a peck on my cheek and strolled out of the kitchen door with all his Rhys swagger. 

I walked towards Mor's mate, with my pastry in hand. When I approached her, she ceased her work and bowed deeply.

"Lady Feyre I-" 

"Stand up, dear, no need to bow. What's your name?" 

"Cerra Ma'am." She said as she straightened back up, 

" Well, Cerra, did you make this? It's amazing."

" Yes, Ma'am, I did. It's my mother's recipe." 

" Well, you and your mother must be some kind of kitchen geniuses." 

"Yes, she was." She looked down at the ground, trying to blink back tears. I laid a hand on the poor girl's shoulder. "She died back when the wall broke. She said she would be glad for it because she would rather die than fight for Hybern." 

"I am so sorry." I sighed, looking her in the eye. 

"Don't be, Ma'am. She was nobody. We're all nobody around here." 

"Oh, that's simply not true," I said to her, "everyone is someone. I know it may not feel like it here, but trust me when I say that you have a place in the world." 

"Thank you, Ma'am." 

"Speaking of," I lead her away from the other staff, " My mate and I noticed you last night, you have an incredible talent for magic, much too large of one to be wasted down here in the kitchens of this sad, lonely place." 

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that when my court and I leave for Velaris, I would be honored if you would come with us. To work for us if you wish, or to live and work in Velaris. You could even open your own bakery." 

"Are you serious?" She breathed. Her eyes were as wide as her mouth as it fell open. 

"Dead serious." Cerra jumped up with a squeal and wrapped her arms around me. 

"Oh my God's, I'm so sorry." She said as she jumped back. 

"Don't be." I wrapped the shaking girl in an embrace as she squeezed me back. "I'll send word for you before we leave if I can't find you myself." 

"What--what about Lord Tamlin?" 

"If he gives you any trouble, you send him straight to my mate and me." It had been a long time since I had seen someone smile that wide.

✩✩✩

I gripped Rhys's hand tightly as we walked along the twisting garden paths. He had his arm wrapped around my waist, keeping me warm in the crisp spring morning mist. 

"So, what was that all about?" He asked a moment after I joined him from the kitchens. 

"That female, the waitress from last night, I spoke to her and told her if she wishes there is a place for her in Velaris. She will join us when we leave." 

"Good." Rhys said, " no one should have to waste their days away here. Especially someone who makes such damn good pastry." 

I laughed, but fell silent after a moment, looking at the rotting pavilion standing in front of us. 

_ I can't believe I almost got married here _ , I said to him down the bond.

_ Good thing I was here to stop that. _

I chuckled but gripped him tighter. He turned me around so he could look me in the eye. 

_ I will always find you, Feyre darling, and save you if you don't manage that part yourself.  _

_ Don't you see love?  _ I brushed my hand along his cheek and pulled him closer.  _ You save me every day. _

And right there in the garden of my former prison, he kissed me, slowly and full of love. He didn't care who was watching or what kind of spectacle a kissing high Lord and lady in their pajamas may be. And I didn't either.


	9. Calanmai: Part 1

I pushed the blade into the holster in my boot until I heard a gentle click, signaling to me that the springs were loaded and ready. Nesta started tinkering with weapons a few months after she and Cass returned from her.....rehab in the mountains. It turns out, she's a freaking master and has devised many contraptions like these since. With this particular one, a string that feeds up through your pant leg need only be slightly tugged, and a dagger will fly up to hands reach. At the time, I thought it unnecessary, but as Rhys and I prepared to face the spring court and it's firenight, I was very grateful for the daggered boots. 

"You remember the plan?" Rhy's asked me as he ran his hands down my shoulders. 

"Of course I do, I came up with half of it. Are you sure you want to go through with this?" I asked him, "If we're wrong, it could ruin our reputation." 

"Positive." He said, kissing my cheek, "Is everyone in place?" 

"Yes, Az and our shadows have examined the cave and prepared the cup, Cass is ready under the stone stage armor in hand, Lucian is meeting us down there, and Mor is bringing Amren the blood in the temple as we speak." 

"Mother, you're a genius." He sighed. He picked up my purple cape from the chair and fastened it around my neck. "Ready?" 

"Let's expose this bitch."

✩✩✩

Spring court fae waved at us as we walked along the path set aside for the high Lord's and ladies to the fire caves. All around, small campfires popped up for the smaller celebrations that would take place for the fae that couldn't see inside the cave. Even with their seating arrangements, the fae seemed so happy and joyous, drinking and eating like there was nothing wrong with the world. If only they knew what corruption they were living under. 

We arrived fashionably late, a mere 30 minutes before the rite. We wouldn't need to waste much time at the event, plus we needed all the time to prepare. 

Az strode beside Rhy's, and I, as the three of us alone, took down the path. Let leaned down to my ear and whispered so softly that I could barely hear, "directly above the stage, exactly 60.75 inches above it, is a natural catwalk, hidden enough for people not to see you, but with enough gap space between the cave wall that you can watch from above. It's normally used for guards, but Nuala and Cerridwen have already taken care of them" I nodded gently, but continued to wave to the crowd.

We had reached the mouth of the cave, and even though I could barely see inside, I could tell the party inside the cave was raging on. As we passed the mouth and entered the heart, I found the party much larger than I had thought. Fae from all over Prythian was dancing, weaving in and out of rows of tables. In the center, a massive fire that seamed to burn purple flicked in the darkness. Up at the top on a raised stone stage, sat Tamlin and the rest of the high Lord's and ladies, looking down on the scene. Tamlin sat in a large thrown in the middle of the stage, composed of what might have been diamonds.

Silently, Rhys held out his arm, and I linked mine with his as we winnowed to the top of the stage. As we appeared, a few fae clapped throughout the crowd, but it died quickly.

"Rhysand, I was beginning to think you were skipping the ceremony." Tamlin lured from his crystal throne.

"Wouldn't dream of missing this mess of a festival." He said, strolling up to him. 

"Are my eyes playing a trick on me, or is that lipstick on your collar?" Tamlin poked the collar of Rhys jacket. I stroked my hand over Rhys's chest and grabbed his collar. 

"In the night court, unlike here, find no shame in our more...primal urges." 

"We do no such thing," he said defensively, "we simply tell mated men when they are...how you say..whipped."

_ Well, that little mother fuc _ -"Look in the mirror Tam." I said, cutting off Rhys thought. I pulled him away from the tool, standing across from us and back to our seats.

_ Remember love- _ I said to him down the bond _ \- if this plan is going to work, we are going to have to keep our cool, both of us. _

_ I know Feyre darling,  _ He said as we took our seats,  _ it's tough not to murder him every time he looks at you.  _

_ How in the world did you do it when I was with him? _

_ About 600 years of built-up self-restraint I hadn't needed until then.  _

I laughed out loud, causing some heads to turn, but neither of us cared. 

_ It's almost time Rhys,  _ I whispered to him, y _ ou have to remember when it's happening that it's not me, you have to remember that love.  _

_ I will,  _ he said,  _ and if I don't, the worst thing that happens is that Tamlin dies.  _

I laughed again before standing up and leaving over Rhys's seat. "I'm gonna go get us drinks, okay, love?" I announced loudly. 

"Mhmm, get me a midnight bourbon, will you?" He asked.

I nodded and leaned my head down to his and kissed him quick and deep. I stood up to move, but a voice came from behind.

"Mind if I join you, High Lady?" Lucian strode over from the other side of Tamlin. 

"Of course, Lucian," I said as we walked down the steps and towards the drink table. Once out of earshot of the others, he finally asked, 

"What are you two up to, Feyre?" 

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about, Lucian." 

"Feyre, I know you, know what you stand for, and it's not what Tamlin is doing. If you're brave enough to march against one of the most powerful fae in mortal flesh, you're most certainly brave enough to stand up to him."

"I'm aware of that Lucian," I said, pouring myself a drink 

"So, what are you up to?" He asked again 

"Frankly, Lucian, it's none of your bloody business." I took a long sip from the sparkling wine, "but, because you asked, I will warn you to stay out of the way tonight. Make sure you and your father stand nowhere near Tam-tam when he picks his wife. I seem to remember that he gets particularly angry when someone interrupts his little rite. 

"Tam-tam? Feyre what do you me-" 

"Goodbye, Lucian," I said as he launched for me, but it was too late. I had already winnowed directly into Ieathe's old and abandoned temple.


	10. Calanmai: Part 2

As soon as I winnowed into the temple, Amren and Mor were all over me, talking over each other. 

"Both of you shut it!" I said loudly, and both the girls backed off a bit. "For the mother's sake, one at a time. Did we find them?" 

"Yes, but about that," Mor said as she stepped out of the way to show me a small child in a chair. I was shocked at first, seeing as I had never seemed the child, so it couldn't be a loved one I was missing. It must have been someone else's. "They're a bit difficult, won't tell us anything." 

"Like I said," the child Puca said from the chair, " I would wait to talk until the mother's chosen one was in front of me."

"The mother's chosen one?" I asked the child.

"That's what we call you, at least around here. You're something of a god to us."

"I see." I said, approaching the little Puca, "but I take it, that you do not believe that." 

"I understand the depths of mortality." The Puca said, "at least more than they do. But they may be right; after all, I did see you die that day. It's the mother's work if I've ever seen it, you are." 

I was stunned into silence for a moment before I whispered: "You were there?" 

"I watched you slide the knife into the bastard's heart and prayed to every god that it would stay there." 

"But-but you're so young!" I exclaimed, looking at their tiny body

"This is simply another skin I wear. I don't plant to torment you, so why put on the skin to do so?" 

I walked back a bit, simply to process everything that had just happened. Everything I had just learned.

"I went into the woods to catch a Suriel, you know to figure out how I might catch a Puca," Amren said, "but before I was done laying my trap, one walked up to me, the little girl in hand." 

"Yes, that does seem fitting," I muttered. I strode back over to the girls. "What of the other preparations?" I asked them. 

"I just spoke to Elain a few moments before you walked in. She talked to at least 20 business owners, restaurants, and artisan centers ready to host spring court refugees for a few days until we find a more permanent solution," Mor said. 

"Fantastic!" I beamed at her, "what about you. Amen, what you got?" 

"Well, all of our things are ready to go, and by the large kitchen doors and project kitchen liberation is a go." 

"Project what?" Mor asked

"Don't worry about it." I told her quickly, "What about the Puca, can they do it? 

"I think so." Amren said, "they took the blood and painted their skin with it and Drank a bit. They do smell like you." 

"That's perfect, just what we need" I turned around to face the small Puca, but it was gone entirely. Instead, I now sat in the chair, looking completely identical to myself besides the cape. 

"Can you do it?" I asked. 

"Yes." The Puca responded in my voice 

"Can you keep the form, even though you aren't technically tormenting someone." 

"Absolutely." They said as they rose. I unclipped my cape and handed it to my doppelganger

"Then let's go raise hell.”


	11. Calanmai: Part 3

I watched the Puca take their seat next to Rhys from the catwalk Az had found earlier. While keeping my eye on the party below, I began to strip from my dress and change into my Illyrian fighting gear and slowly started sprouting my wings. It felt new every time I did it. In the earlier days, it felt like they were growing from my bones and ripping apart my flesh to grow, but now it felt more like my skin was morphing into the wings and guiding them along. Once my gear was on, and my wings were fully sprouted, I leaned down to peer over the edge of the catwalk. Tamlin was addressing the crowd in the cave, but I couldn't hear him. I was too focused on the thoughts of my mate. On the outside, he looked as calm as he always did at these gatherings, all slumped down and loosely holding the Puca's hand, but there was a storm raging in his mind. 

_ My love,  _ I purred to him,  _ Lookup.  _ Slowly he tilted his head up as if to rest it on the back of his chair. His cold eyes met mine through the sliver of light in the catwalk, and his face began to soften. 

_ As soon as the ceremony starts, and he picks the puca, you can winnow up here, and I swear I will be here in the flesh… _

_ I know  _

_ He's not going to hurt me. He might hurt the puca, but they're willing. You should have heard some of the things they said.  _

_ I suppose you'll have to tell me later. _

_ I suppose I will, I-  _ I lost my thought as I watched Tamlin stroll over to the fire and stuck his hand straight into it. No one gasped or even gaped when he pulled his hand out, a large gold goblet in his fist. The fae of the spring court must have been used to it, but that did not stop me from gazing at the goblet. He strode back up to the stage where a poor maid was forced to kneel with a tray in her arms. The tray had an arrangement of things on it—a smaller goblet, a small dagger, and what looked to be a power brush for shaving. Tamlin plopped the cup down onto the tray and addressed the crowd. 

"As you are all well aware, this year's rite is going to be a little different. For those of you who have turned off age in the past seven years when we have not had public ceremonies or guests who are not aware, under normal circumstances, I would drink from the cup of fire, to empower my magic so I might pick a lucky fae with whom I would mate. This ritual is what keeps the magic here in the spring court, moving and alive.

"However, this year, things are going to be a little different. Seeing as this ritual was meant to be down between the high Lord and his wife, it seems only fitting that I use it to find my own. However!" He paused, "It does not seem appropriate or fair for my wife to be chosen while I am on such a state of power and lust, where I mean only to ravish." 

_ Ugh, I don't think I'll ever be able to use that word again, thanks, Tam!  _ Rhys said. 

_ Oh really? _ I asked him, sending him a rather exciting sight of myself in the smallest amount of clothing possible. He sent back a rather rude gesture, but I knew I had made his wings twitch. 

Pulling myself away from our conversation, I turned back to Tamlin. He had the small goblet, whose cup was no larger than Elains palm, and lowered it into the larger cup with what looked like a glorified egg Dipper children used to dye eggs on the spring equinox. When the cup reemerged, it was almost overflowing with the flaming purple drink. Tamlin took the goblet to his lips and drained it in a moment, tilting his head towards the sky. The moment the first drop of the liquid hit his tung, he began to glow, as if he were indeed on fire. He slammed the glass down on the tray and lunged full speed ahead for the puca.

Right on schedule, she began to scream bloody murder. He grabbed her wrists and forced her to the center of the stage, but as soon as he had gotten her out of her chair, Rhys disappeared from below. I looked up to see my mate sitting next to me.

"There you are."

He pounced on me. Our lips crashed together, even with the scene below us raging on. When we broke, I peered down and found everything going to plan. All the high Lord's were standing around, and all scared to strike first, while Tamlin and the puca, who was rapidly changing forms, kissed. 

I stood up, Rhys followed and took my hands. He planted a peck on my cheek and said, "I just realized how dangerous this dramatic entrance might be for the baby" I rolled my eyes into the back of my head. "Oh, fuck it, kick his ass." 

And I smiled as I began to free all towards the stone stage.

The rock shuttered as my knee and fist hit the ground. People looked up and gasped at me, kneeling behind the high Lord of spring, who was completely unaware that he was kissing a goats head, with a man's body attached, instead of me. I cleared my throat to get his attention. He opened his eyes and screamed and jumped back upon seeing the Puca's goat head. 

"Am I interrupting something?" I asked him coldly. 

"But-you-..y-you we're ju-?" 

"Did you really think you could pull this off without someone noticing?" I asked him. He was still baffled and panic-stricken. "You thought that no one would notice this sneaky little clause in law about the tieth? About something completely different?" He was starting to understand, slowly but surely. "You thought you could trick me into marrying you, and we wouldn't notice and plan accordingly?" 

"You-you," he stammered, trying to regain himself, "How dare you! How dare you fling such insults and accusations at me!" He bellowed, his claws peeking out of his hands. 

"Did you, or did you not, just grab and assault a woman who you assumed was a mated female from her mate, who mind you, both have more power in their hands than you do in your entire body because you thought you had political impunity?"

"For the tieth!" He shouted, "the power had blinded me and-" 

"No," I said simply, glaring at him. 

"No?" he asked flabbergasted

"No. The power didn't blind you, you had but a sip." The other high Lord's still stood with their weapons drawn. 

"You legitimately believed that by slipping a clause in a law, that I, the high Lady of the night court, would be forced to marry you. That no one could stop you, that-" 

"I just wanted to protect you!" He roared, his claws coming all the way out. 

"Protect me?" I scoffed. "Do your subjects know what you did all those years ago? Do they know why the spring court allied with Hybern in the first place? Or were you too scared to tell them?" 

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" He bellowed, shooting a line of power out from his body, going full beast. 

"Do they know that their lord, who rebuilt them from ashes he brought to them first hand, turned a blind eye while I starved and slowly died in your home?" 

"ENOUGH!" 

"Do they know how the 'dark and scary' king of the night had to come save me from your grasps, only for you to Ally with the most dangerous male in the world to trick me in coming back to your home? I bet they don't, or, well, didn't. They sure know now." I growled

"FEYRE I DEMAND YOU STOP AT O-" 

"And you have the audacity to attempt to enslave me again, to protect me?" 

"TO BREAK-to break the curse, Feyre!" He slowly morphed back into a man

"Curse?" I asked him, "What curse?" 

"M-my high priestess said that-that he might have had you under a curse the whole time and-"

"How. Dare. You." I growled at the lump of a man before me. "You didn't learn anything, did you? From the war, the solitude, any of it? No, you still think the world revolves around you." 

"We were so in love Feyre, I didn't think it was possible you could have really been in love with..with him."

He was on the ground, so I crouched to meet his eyes. 

"You fell in love with a human, willing to marry a wood chipper son to feed her sisters some Godsdamned bread" A larger thunk came from behind me. 

"I never thought I'd say this, but," Tamlin sighed," where have you been! For God's sake, control your woman!" He shouted at my mate. 

"First off tam-tam," he said, slipping his hands In his pockets, "I was giving my mate a chance to shine, something I know you would never be able to understand, I pity the poor woman who marries you. Second, did you just tell me to control my woman?" The other high Lord's were sitting again. Lucian was even reclined in his chair, sipping wine as if our argument was a theatre performance he was attending. 

"I think you very well know by now," Rhys said smoothly as Tamlin slowly arose from the ground and seemed to be pushed up an invisible wall, "that there is no controlling an Archeron sister, and any poor fool who ignores that fact is a dead man." I almost laughed and I swore I could hear Cassian chuckling from his position at the back of the stage. 

Tamlin fell the few feet from his place in the air but managed to land on his feet. He shifted into his beast as he ran at us but only bounced back off our shields. The crowd laughed. 

"YOU HAVE RUINED ME!" He shouted at us, bearing his claws. "YOU RUINED ME!"

"No, Tamlin, you did this all to yourself." 

Cassian walked up to us, knowing we needed to leave before he tried to strike us again. He touched Rhys's shoulder, and we prepared to winnow. 

"Goodnight, Tamlin." 

And we winnowed off. 

✩✩✩

"Seriously, Rhys?" Cassian said, cracking up as we approached the back kitchen doors, " _ there is no controlling an Archeron sister, and any poor fool who ignores that fact is a dead man _ ?" He fell victim to another spout of laughter.

"What?" Rhys laughed, "I'm not wrong, am I?" 

"I swear I am going to kill you two if Nesta doesn't get to you first." I signed, pushing open the back door. Az, Amren, and Mor were standing impatiently right inside. 

"So..."Mor said, mouth full of pastry, " how did it go?"

"Let's just say that I was this close to pinning Tamlin down and dissecting his balls," Rhys said, grabbing the rest of the pastry from his cousin's hand. 

"Oh please, " I said, "they're so small you couldn't find them to dissect." The boys laughed. 

"So, it went well. I take it?" Amren said. 

"Yes, it went well. Is everything in order?"

"Yes," Mor said, "we have city guards at the front of the building ready to winnow workers and citizens to Velaris."

"Good!" Az said and properly stood up from where he was leaning on the bags, "then let's get the hell out of here. I want to see my fiancee!"

"Oh, my God's!" I exclaimed, "I haven't told Elain I'm pregnant!"

"Just one more thing to look forward to love," Rhys said, kissing my head. Mor still sitting on the suitcases, we all joined hands and Rhys and I winnowed us back to over the icy mountains and home to the city of the dreamers. 


	12. Home

Az was first to break our line as we landed inside the gates of the river house. He barreled straight for Elain, waiting for us in the front garden. He swooped her off her feet and showered her in kisses. Her frame looked so tiny next to his. It always did. 

They made me smile every time I saw them too. The fact that Elain had progressed enough even to consider the possibility astounded me, and now they are getting married on the summer solstice. 

Rhys put his hand on my back, bringing me out of my thoughts and back into reality. Everyone else had already begun to make their way inside, but we still stood where we winnowed. 

"You okay?"He asked gently. 

"Yeah," I muttered, "just tired is all. I don't think I got a wink of good sleep last night." Rhys took my hand, and we began to walk to the house. 

"How could you?" He sighed in response, "I know I couldn't sleep well with him so close to...to you. I can only imagine how you felt."

"I think you can get a pretty good idea," I said, kissing his cheek. We walked through the grand doors and onto the first floor.

The first floor was for entertainment and business. That's where our dining room was, and the  _ parlor. _ Along with Rhys and I's offices, of course, and a small ballroom ticked behind the stairs. The first floor wasn't in any way, shape, or form, a home. But the second and third floors were nearly as homely as the townhouse. 

When we moved in, Rhys insisted we keep the round table from the kitchen in the townhouse, although it was much too small for all of us to fit around now, he loved that thing. He said that he bought it when he first became high Lord because he had read an old mortal tale about a king who had all of his men sit at a round table, so that no one could be at the head, and hence superior. I laughed at the notion, and eventually, he did admit that the table was too small, but not without an extreme amount of stubbornness. We simply bought a larger round table, and he kept the old one in his office. That damned table creeks horribly, a terrible spot for a quickie. 

We walked up the grand staircase and into our home. More was already sitting on the couch, nursing a bottle of wine. 

"Dear gods Mor, someday you're going to have a full-fledged addiction," Rhys said, flicking the bottle as we passed. 

"Who said I don't already!" She called after us and Rhys chuckled. 

"Where to love?" Rhys asked me, spinning me in his arms so I could look at him. 

"Hmm," I mussed, "well, I'm exhausted, so bed, but I'm also starving, so kitchen, but also, I'm covered in rock dust, so bath, plus the moment we are alone for more than a minute, I know I'm gonna want to jump your bones, so.."

"Oo, I like that last option." He said

"I do too, so I don't know."

"Tell you what," he said, pulling me closer, "you go run us a bath, and I'll go hunt through the kitchen."

"That sounds very good," I said, getting on my tiptoes to kiss his nose. 

I strode down the hallway to our bedroom, past the library and lounge (as Mor insisted calling it. Really it's just the room we all get drunk in). I opened the oak door to find the comforting scent of home. Our room smelled slightly different than the rest of the house, for we never let cleaners in, we just cleaned ourselves. It smelled of body oil and lavender and parchment. It smelled like home. I kicked sat down on the side of the bed and began to undo all the contraptions from my body—all of the hidden blades and the pop-up dagger shoes. Perhaps I had over-prepared for the encounter earlier. 

When it was all off, with the blades on the desk, I walked over to our bathroom and began to draw up a bath—slightly scolding water, with a bit of lavender and a shit ton of bubbles. 

I slid into the steaming bath and felt all of my muscles relax. I hadn't realized how tense I was the past few days. My eyes began to grow heavy. 

It wasn't like all of our problems would be over and done with now. We still had to worry about all the refugees and the status of the spring court. Who knows, the fae might throw Tamlin out of his own home, or even better, kill him. And then there was this baby. Fae pregnancies weren't an easy time. There was a lot of pain and waiting involved, and that was all before the labor. Fearful thoughts still running through my head, my eyes dipped closed, and my head leaned back of the rim of the tub as I drifted off to sleep. 

✩✩✩

"Feyre, darling." Rhys purred in my ear. My eyes slowly blinked open to see Rhys face looking above mine, "You weren't kidding about being exhausted." He said 

"Well, no shit," I muttered, sitting up. He slipped into the tub behind me, and I fell back onto him. He cocooned me with his arms as I laid back on his chest, my eyes fluttering shut again. And still wrapped in the warm water, I fell asleep on my mate's chest.

We were home.


	13. Refugees

Rhys was already gone when I awoke the next morning, but he clearly had not been gone for long. A steaming cup of coffee and a few biscuits stat on the bedside table, a small not on the plate. 

_ Darling _ , It read,  _ The refugees have arrived downtown and some fae have made quite a scene downtown because of it. The refugees, of course, are frightened and confused. Please join me ASAP. Love, the most dashing of them all, your mate  _

I scoffed at Rhys's note. His humor never does seem to fail him. Stretching my arms, I threw my legs over the bed and stood. As soon as my body was upright, the morning sickness hit me like a tsunami. I was immediately bent over the toilet, expelling my insides. I suppose I will need to get used to this, I thought, wiping the vomit off the corner of my mouth. I picked out some professional enough clothes, a pair of flowy grey pants and a matching crop top, and strolled out into the hallway. 

Upon first glance, the house was already empty, noticeable mostly from the lack of the males roaring laughter, but when I walked into the kitchen, I found quite the opposite.

Nesta sat at the kitchen table, sipping a mug of mulled wine, starting contently out the window. Nesta hated the river house, hated it so much that it was suspicious enough to see her here in the early hours of the morning. Before I could say anything, she announced, " I came to see Elain, if that's what you're wondering." She turned around slowly, staring me dead on, "but I found the house empty when I arrived. Or at least, I thought it to be empty. I suspected you were off saving the day with your mate."

"Rhys is a sensitive little Illyrian baby and didn't dare to wake me." I giggled, sliding into a seat in front of her, "but yes, I should be off with him."

"Calming down all the confused bitches I saw on the way up here, I suppose?" I nodded. "What the hell did you all do in the spring court to require us taking asylum seekers."

"First off," I sighed, "We are not required to take asylum seekers, nor do we feel guilty enough to do so. We have always allowed fae in crisis to join us."

"But you caused the crisis, right?"

"Yes, we did." I said, standing up, "We uncovered a plot, one attempting to kidnap me and probably other girls Tamlin finds to his pleasure, and we did so very publicly."

"Well...good job, take the bitch down." I stood to leave and join Rhys in the city, but Nesta followed up, "Speaking of good news, when were you going to tell me you were with child?"

I gave her a soft smile, "when the time was right," and with that, I winnowed to the city square. 

✩✩✩

The spring fae stood out so drastically against my citizens. Their modest but bright and rather dull, clothes seamed to scream against the dark tones and reveling styles of my own. I looked up from the sea of people to see Rhys standing on a little platform, trying to ease their minds, but little was being done. I winnowed up to the stage, and the spring fae quickly fell silent. Rhys slid his hand into mine, and I began to address the crowd. 

"I know you are frightened," I said, "I know this is not your home, and you don't even know where your home is anymore, with the treacherous acts brought forth from your court. I know because that's how I felt nine years ago when I first came to live here." My citizens had called quiet to listen as well, "I know how confused you are by my citizens and the culture that thrives here, I know you are scared because it was likely what you were taught to be wrong. I know how you feel, but do not fear," I announced, "you are in good hands here. We will not harm you, and we will see that no harm comes to you by those who wish to. We only wish to help, and it would be much easier if you all would cooperate so we can identify you as to keep you safe."

"There are booths around the square," Rhys started, "with city guards ready to help you fill out identification forms, so we can find you a place to stay until you get on your own two feet. There are volunteers around as well ready to help answer questions and provide assistance. We know it's much colder up here than you are used too, so there are also booths with warmer clothes and hot drinks. If you could please make your way towards these individuals in a calm manner so we can start the process, that would be a great help". They began to shuffle in different directions. Rhys turned to me on the stage and pulled me into his arms

_ Good morning darling. How are you feeling? _

_ Still a bit sick from this morning, but better. _

_ Good, because we are going to have our work cut out for us today. _

_ I know, _ I planted a kiss on his cheek and turned to walk off the stage into the sea of refugees.


	14. A Touch of Innocence

By sunset, the crowds had died down, having filtered off to different stations and safe homes. So many fae had answered the call for help; fae were sleeping on floors of restaurants, clubs, bookstores, even dance studios. But housing wasn't even the beginning of our worries. Finding food, clothing, emergency tonics was hard, but keeping word from getting to Keir was even harder. 

"He will be so angry, like blow up the whole mountain, angry," Mor told Rhys as they moved from station to station that morning. 

"So, if he gets too out of hand, we'll just send Nesta to go bite his head off." 

We had Illyrians stationed every 5 miles from the edge of the city to the Court of Nightmares, but even that couldn't stop word of mouth. By the end of the day, we had already gotten letters from Eris, Thesian, and Lucian telling us how messed up things were in the spring court, and in Eris's case, how insane we are. Helion and Tarquin opened their borders for refugees halfway through the morning, but only a handful of fae left to join the Day and Summer courts. Some had already been placed in homes or hostels and didn't want to take their chances, and some were too scared of other courts and their leaders; moreover, they were scared of outsiders. Most of them were utterly terrified of Rhys. All of the fear-mongering Tamlin practiced worked on his citizens. That meant that I was on my feet the entire day, trying to fight nausea. But I had a duty to fulfill and a job to do.

"Darling, you need to get some rest." Rhys told me as the sun sunk behind the river, "this can't be good for the baby." 

"I know, but all of these fae are stranded, and it's kinda my fault, so I have to fix this Rhys." 

"Feyre," he said, pulling me away from the busyness of the square, " None of this is your fault. That bastard did this all to himself, and before you say it's your fault for bringing in all the refugees, that's bullshit." He kissed my nose. 

"I know, I know, it's just..." he pulled my waist towards him more, until I was pressed by his embrace, " All of them are just so scared. They've been betrayed and hurt by the one person they thought they were safe with, and now they are in a cold, scary place that they were taught was bad. I know how that feels, and I just...I owe them this." 

"I know love, but you don't owe them your health." He purred 

"Okay, fine, fine," I said, looking up at him, "I will get some rest, there's just one more thing I have to do."

✩✩✩

Earlier that day, I had opened the studio to families with small children. I had to make sure they were together, and there were so few already. By the time I finally got to check on them, it was well past sunset, for there were so many loose ends I had to tie up before we could leave the square. I gave the city guard stationed outside a little nod, as I turned the handle. 

Only a few candles were lit in the large room. The adults and older children had huddled away from the mass of sleeping bags, talking in hushed voices; Little children were snoozing away on their mats already. Rhys walked passed me as I lingered In the door, and went to address the crowded corner. I was on my way to join him when I noticed a little girl awake. If she were human, she would have been no older than five or six. She sat right in front of her sleeping bag and stared at it intently and seemed to have blood on her hands. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't blood, but paint, and it was smeared across the bag. 

I approached her slowly and gave her a gentle tap on the shoulder. She jumped at the contact and bowed upon turning around and seeing my face. 

"Oh, don't bother with bows." I told her with a smile, "we are no different you and I." She nodded. "What is your name?"

"Geniva." She said quietly. 

"Hi, Geniva, I'm Feyre." 

She giggled, "I know." 

"I see you've found the paints," I said, gesturing to her hands.

"I'm sorry," she choked, her face crumbling, " I know I shouldn't have but I-"

"Relax, it's okay. I'm glad you found them." 

"Really?"

"Really. Art is sometimes just what we need to process what's going on. Can I see what you painted?" She smiled and nodded as she leaned away from her bag. On it, was what looked something like a brown pumpkin or large acorn with a door and windows. There was little fae playing outside with what was supposed to be a ball. 

"It's my house," Geniva told me, " I painted it because I miss it." I gave her a little pat on the back. 

"Why don't we find you a real canvas?" 

"Really?" She asked, smiling wide. 

"Yup!" I said. I stood up and reached out my hand for her to take. Together we walked through the rows of children, past the adults, and back toward the supply shelf. Her eyes lit up when she saw all the paints. 

I pulled out a canvas for her and placed it on an easel. She pointed out the colors and brushes she wanted before she badly began to paint. It wasn't until I turned around that I realized the group had turned our direction. Two fae, likely her parents, started right at the little girl with tears in their eyes. I began to walk toward them, but Geniva stood up and hugged my legs. 

"Thank you, Lady Feyre." I bent down so I could hug her back. 

"You’re welcome, sweetheart. I'm delighted to have met you.’ I gave her a kiss on the head before she scampered back to the paints. 

Rhys took my hand when I reached the group. 

"Hello, everyone." 

The group just stared for a moment before they went around and told me their names. I would be lying if I said I remembered them all. 

"You didn't have to do that, Lady Feyre." The girl's mother told me.

"This is a studio made for working and painting and maybe even healing. Of course, I had to." 

Before long, I was feeling light on my feet again. Rhys noticed and told the group-"I hate to bid you goodnight, but we do have a few more stops to make before we can retire ourselves." They nodded their heads and told us goodbye before Rhys, and I walked a few feet away and winnowed home to a well deserved night of sleep. 


	15. The Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, This chapter is smutty! Nothing really happens plot-wise, so if you don't want to read bad smut, feel free to skip over this chapter.

Our room in the river house materialized around us as we winnowed in. Rhys planted a quick kiss on my lips before he strolled over to the dresser to find new clothes. As I followed him to my dresser, I noticed the pain in my back that had begun to form in recent days. It was a new feeling, unlike any pain I had felt during training or any soreness I had ever felt after a particularly interesting night. It was like someone was pressing their hands over my ovaries and spreading them further apart.

"Mmh, I should probably see Madja tomorrow to get more information," I said as I pulled out some silky sleep shorts. “I don't want to do anything to hurt the baby, and anyway, I barely know anything about pregnancy. Like how careful do I have to be? Can I keep flying? Will using too much magic hurt the baby?" 

"I honestly have no idea," Rhys said, taking my hand, "It's been so long since anyone I've known has been pregnant, I only know the bare minimum."

How in the world am I going to raise a child when I know nothing about pregnancy, I thought. Why didn't I think to read up on it, even a little bit, I mean I knew this would happen someday. I'm already a terrible mothe-

_ No, you're not _ . Rhys said through the bond _. Don't even think that for a second. You are going to be an incredible mother.  _

He kissed me lightly on the lips. Soft but lingering, like his good morning kisses. 

"Now, let's see what we can do about that back." 

"I didn't even-"

" Your shields are down. You're that exhausted." He drawled as he walked into the bathroom, steam already leaking out. Admittedly he was right. I had kept my fatigue at Bay, but now that I was home, I could feel the arches of my feet barking, and my head felt lighter. 

Rhys was rummaging through the cabinets when I walked in. The counter around him was already covered with salves and creams for everything from muscle aches to joint pain. I almost moaned when I realized he had already run a hot bath. The bathtub in our bathroom was practically a small pool. It was large enough for two bodies and sets of wings. I willed my clothes away and stepped into the tub. The warm water enveloped me, soothing my sore body. Footsteps padded up behind me as I closed my eyes and rested my head on the lip of the tub. 

Rhys's fingers ran through my hair, rubbing my temples. I let out a little sigh. His soft lips brushed each of my temples, my forehead, nose, and the corners of my mouth before I craned my neck back to find his lips. Even with the hot bath surrounding me, I could feel my core warming. He pulled away and waded into the tub. I wanted him to pounce on top me that second, but he had other plans. He kissed me lightly on the lips as he grabbed a salve he had placed on the soap dish.

He rubbed the pain relaxer into the soles of my feet as he kissed my calves. His member was poking up, out of the water. His hands kept wandering up, moving in circles massaging the salve into my skin, kisses only getting higher. His lips were sucking on my inner thigh when he finally moved his hands to my hips and thrust me on to the rim of the tub

_ Thank Gods, _ I thought, but he filled his hands with salve again and wrapped them around to rub into my back. His hands kept moving as he kissed each nipple, so lightly it was almost like he was never there. I whimpered, my core clenching so tight. He was rubbing circles over where my ovaries lay under my skin when he brushed over the Apex of my thighs.

I let out a moaned and cried, “Rhys, please,” He lost it. He gripped my hips and went to work, causing my leg to twitch from the intensity. He moved one of his hands to tease my entrance but plunged in with a particularly loud moan from me. I was reaching my peak as he sucked on the swollen nub. I knew I was glowing when I shouted his name, finally reaching my climax. He wasn't done with me though, he never was.

I slid back into the tub, and he nudged inside me. Still shaking, I knew it wouldn't take much to send me over the edge again. I kissed him deeply, fighting his tongue for dominance. He wrapped his hands around my butt and hoisted me up out of the water. Still, inside me, he carried me to our bed, setting me down like I was fine china. We were both just a unit of moans and grunts, and we walked towards that cliff with every thrust.

“You're mine.” I breathed.

I felt his cock twitch inside me as we took that leap together, screaming each other’s names.

My breathing was ragged as he moved off of me and wrapped me in his arms. I turned around so I could look him in the eyes. Even after all these years, I still take pride in the fact that I can make one of the strongest Illyrian warriors in history lose his breath.

“I love you so much, darling,” he said, pressing a long kiss into my hair. I nuzzled his neck with my nose. 

“To the stars, my love.”

“To the stars.”

We fell asleep like that: completely wrapped up in each other, him still half inside me, and his hands roaming over my stomach and our child lying inside.


	16. The Beginning of a Long Day

There isn't a good way to explain the lightness I felt when I awoke the next morning. Waking up in the spring court felt like shoving cinderblocks off my feet, and even yesterday, waking up had a certain heaviness to it. Today though--Today felt like the final moments in the air, just before you land. Things were starting to feel normal again.

Well-- Almost normal. There was still that glorious flutter, that heart-shattering flutter in my abdomen. I could still feel it. I never want to stop feeling it.

When I finally opened my eyes, Rhys was looking at me. His eyes shifted up to mine along with his body as he pulled me even closer to him.

_ Morning darling,  _ he almost muttered.

_ Good morning.  _ He sat up and shifted me onto his lap, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

_ Sleep well? _ I leaned my forehead against his.

_ You have no idea,  _ I said down the bond and planted a light kiss, light as my sleep, on his lips.

_ Mm I think I might?-- _ hands roaming my back--

_ I dunno, do you?  _ \--slowly moving down--

_ I have a sneaking suspicion  _ \--further-

_ Why don't you show me then?  _ \--further-- 

✩✩✩

Only later, after we had our fun, did Rhys tell me our day plans.

"What time is she coming?" I said though the bathroom door.

"Noon, but I have to meet with the captain of the city guard before then."

"and me?" I said, pulling a sweater over my head. He came into our bathroom, leaning on the door.

"They are not expecting both of us, but if you wish to come, it would be helpful." he walked towards me, pulling me closer by the waist, "But I thought, since you've been so busy the past few days, you might want to take the morning to tell Elian."

"Shit!" I said, "I haven't told Elain." Rhys let out a little laugh.

"Yes, I thought that might be important."

"Okay, I'll stay here and tell her. You'll be back by noon, though?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it for the world." After a brief moment of bushing lips, he said, "Do you want me to send for Nesta too?"

"No," I said, "She--um, she already figured it out."

"Figures."

"She's still working on it," I said, glancing down. He tilted my head up.

"I know. I don't expect her to, well, be one of us suddenly, but...I wish you could have gotten to tell her.

"I do too." 

✩✩✩

I had no clue how to tell Elain. On the one hand, I was excited to tell her, she's going to be an aunt after all, but she and Az had just gotten engaged. The last thing I wanted to do was to overshadow her. It had taken her so long to simply be okay living, and even longer to acknowledge her feelings. If it did hurt her, she would never admit it; she didn't have that kind of backbone. And with her being a seer, the chances of her already knowing...I couldn't even think that far ahead. I was wrapped with nerves when she walked into the living room, where I was already parked on the couch.

I stood as she walked towards me. Elian almost knocked me back onto the couch with her bear hug.

"Feyre, you have to tell me everything!" She exclaimed as she pulled back, "Az told me a bit, did you make him cry, did he lose his---What's wrong?"

Tiny tears were flowing from my eyes. I couldn't say why if I wanted to. She wiped the tears from my eyes, and I let out a little laugh.

"Here sit down, I have some news for you."

"What is it, did something happen. Did things not go as well over there?" She pulled me down by the hand.

"No, No, its nothing like that, All good things."

"Well, by the mother, Feyre, tell me."

"Elain," I said, looking in her eyes, filled with worry." I'm Pregnant." The concern that had been in her eyes moments before vanished as they lit up like the moon's reflection in the Sidra. She squealed as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Holy Mother, you had me scared there for a minute, I thought Tamlin had done something." She laughed

"He has." Said a voice from the door. I looked up to see Rhys, leaned up against the door frame. He looked troubled, his eyes darker than they had been this morning. Before he could say anything, I stood up and went to him. He took my hand and pulled me into the hall.

"Rhys, what is it?" I asked urgently, but he kept looking down. "Rhys, what happened?" A tear fell down his cheek. I quickly wiped it away. "Rhysand, please...Please tell me."

"The Puca." He whispered, "They're dead."


	17. Preparations

"What?" I said, my eyes widening.

"He killed them"

"But, But I thought they came with-" I said my voice breaking.

"Some of his guards got to them before they could be winnowed out." He muttered, "Got some of their family too, little siblings."

A helpless noise came from the back of my thought. Rhys caught me as my knees buckled.

It was all my fault. If I hadn't asked them for help, oh mother, what have I done

_ Nothing _ .  _ You didn't do that darling _

_Rhys...I...If I...I hadn't,_ and We were on the floor. Thankfully we were in private chambers; otherwise, the refugees could have seen me, sobbing, Rhys crying too.

_ How?  _ I asked,  _ How did he do it. _

_ Feyre I- _

_ HOW!  _ I practically screamed through the bond.

_ He,  _ Rhys couldn't even say it in our minds, _ He cut...He cut their wings and...and hung them in the square.  _ Darkness erupted out of me, filling the hall. I didn't know if it was from my anger or regret, but it was massive. I could barely feel Rhys' arms around me, couldn't hear what he was saying, just the ringing in my ears. A child. They were a child. And they looked up to me, trusted me. I killed them.

"Feyre!" Rhys said, shaking my shoulders. I came to my senses, and the darkens backed away. I had knocked a painting clear off the wall, and all the rugs had been shoved back to the wall where the back window was completely shattered.

"I'm sorry." I muttered into him, "I'm so sorry." We sat there for a minute as he guided my breaths, and I tried not to hurl my breakfast all over the floor. Eventually, I looked up at him. He looked saddened by the news, but what was worse was the overwhelming worry in his eyes.

"Rhys, I'm sorry, I overreacted." Before I could finish my sentence, he kissed me, making the world seem better for a moment.

"You have nothing to apologize for."

I almost chucked as I said, "I blew out the fucking window."

"And I practically pummeled Az when he told me. Are you okay?"

I didn't respond, because I couldn't say yes in good conscience. "If I hadn't asked for their help, If I had just done it myself...I might as well have-"

"Feyre, stop." He said, cupping my cheek, "You are not responsible for that fucker’s actions."

"But-"

"You had no part in their murder Feyre, please." His eyes looked broken, the way they used to look when he awoke from those horrid nightmares.

"There's more, isn't there?" I asked. He nodded.

"Are you okay to hear it?" I nodded.

"He's been burning the houses of Fae who have left. As far as I know, no one has been hurt, but-" I was shaking. None of this would have happened if we had just left it alone. If he had chosen me, he couldn't have taken me, we would have stopped him. Better yet if we hadn't gone...How did I ever love him? What would have become of me if I had stayed with him, or if Lucian had taken me in the woods, or if I hadn't gotten away or-

"What happens now?" I asked Rhys, taking a sharp breath. "What do we do?"

"Thesan has called a meeting in the Dawn Court, seeing as he has been the most impartial about Tamlin in the past. We are to report immediately, well, at least I am. He said, considering everything, he understands if you didn't feel safe enough to go. Tamlin isn't invited, but that's never stopped him before so-"

"I'm going with you," I said, sitting up. "I won't let him scare me away from doing my duties or from my people. I'm going with you to fix this."

"Okay."

"You don't want me to do you?"

"Feyre, darling." He said, pulling me close.  _ There are about 500 different things that scare me about everything that's happened, and more adding on to the fact that you are with child, but never- never, will I hide you away. _

_ I know my love.  _ I kissed him deeply in the middle of the trashed hallway. I needed to ask Madja about how the pregnancy would affect my hormones because I seemed to be at extremes.

"I imagine our appointment is canceled?"

"Yes, but I have asked Madja to come with us, in case something happens, and because neither of us knows anything about pregnancy, and we need to learn at some point."

"Does Thesan know? Will it look weird if we bring her?"

"He didn't say anything in his letter, but, seeing as Helion could tell when we were in the Spring court, he probably does."

"Do you think someone told Tamlin?" I whispered. "Would he-"

"He would be dead if he tried." I looked up at him. His eyes widened as he realized what he said. He opened his mouth to apologize, but I beat him to it.

"Not if I didn't get to him first." Rhys knew he couldn't scare me, not even when he has to tap into his power, but he still needs reminders from time to time.

Rhys helped me up and wrapped an arm around my waist as we walked towards our room to make preparations.

"Who else is coming?" I asked.

"Az and the shadows, and Mor. Even though Amren has the scare factor we may need, I figure she would be better posted protecting the city, and Mor would be more of a comfort to you."

"Mmh, sometimes I wish you weren't right. What about the city?" 

"Cass is collecting troops from Devlon now to patrol the city, Almost the whole guard is on standby, and I even put your sister on border patrol."

"I pity the poor sap who tries to get past her." We had reached our door. I paused for a moment before turning the handle. I wish I didn't have to bring this whole mess into our room. I was such a sacred space and didn't deserve to be burdened with Tamlin's bullshit. Or my own.

"Well- I guess we should get packing then," I said, turning the handle and walking in.


	18. Learning Opportunities

Madja arrived at the house while we were still throwing things into our trunk. Mor brought her up to our room, which I suppose would normally be very strange, but there was nothing ordinary about life anymore. 

“High Lord, Lady,” She said, giving a quick bow before fully entering the room. 

“Thank you so much for coming with us on such short notice,” I said, walking over to greet her. 

“It’s no problem, but I must warn you, I might not be the best healer for helping you through pregnancy.” She said, “I have delivered a few children in the past, but I am first and foremost a healer for battlefields, not a midwife.” 

“Madja,” I said to her, “There is no one else I would rather have to help me through this. I trust you. That's not something that happens often.” 

“Thank you, my lady.” 

“I have to be honest here,” Rhys said, closing the trunk, “Neither of us has any clue how this whole thing works.” 

“I know a bit about human pregnancy, but I am totally in over my head,” I admitted. Rhys walked over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Um, why don't we sit down.” I gestured to the small table we sometimes take dinner at. 

“Well, first off,” She said, “I think it’s important for you to know that there are more differences than similarities between fae and human pregnancy.” I nodded as she pulled a leather-bound notebook out of her bag and flipped it open. “Human pregnancy typically lasts nine months, with the mother becoming aware anywhere between one and four months in, depending on their access to medical care. Fae pregnancy, however, lasts a full calendar year, with the mother becoming aware around the third month of gestation.” 

“I've been pregnant for three months?” I asked, almost shocked. I have done so much in the past three months, so much physical activity, flying, holy mother I took that big fall on-Rhys slid his hand across my knee. 

“I will have to double-check when we have time for a more thorough examination, but it looks like you have been with child for around three months and twelve days.” 

Holy shit. How did I not know? Rhys sensed me tense up and brought me even closer to him.  _ It’s okay,  _ he said. 

“Okay...Um..” I could barely bring words to my mouth. If I had brought our child any harm before I even knew I was carrying them, I could never forgive myself. “I have two essential questions. The others can wait until we have more time.” Madja nodded. “First off, what can and can’t I do? I have had a lot of physical activity recently and...”

“Physical activity and performing more strenuous magic in the early stages shouldn’t be a problem. Once you reach your sixth month, you will have to cut back on quite a bit; shapeshifting, flying, anything that would potentially strain you.” 

“But say, skilfully falling from a catwalk wouldn't have hurt the baby?” 

“I wouldn’t suggest making it a regular activity, but your actions in the spring court did not harm your child, as far as I can tell,” Madja said. 

“Oh, thank the mother,” Rhys sighed. Breathing became a bit easier. 

“However,” she said. We both shot up from our newly acquired relaxed positions, “I wouldn't suggest winnowing much during this time. Transporting your body across space, folding the universe is incredibly strenuous on the body, and there is little to no research on how it can affect a fetus. If you can help it, Lady Feyre, have your mate winnow you until you give birth.” 

“Okay,” I nodded, still trying to take in everything. I could barely believe I was with a child at all, let alone think I had been carrying our child for three months. And now I can't winnow? 

“What was your second question, my Lady?” Madja asked me, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

“It was about...survival rate.” I practically whispered. Rhys looked over at me, worry in his eyes. I'm sure mine reflected it too. “I am technically, my mother's youngest child, but-” I gripped Rhys’s hand, willing the tears to not spill over. “She carried another child before she died. I don’t remember, but I know the child was stillborn and-” I couldn’t stop them now, tears flowed freely down my red cheeks. I straightened up to look at our healer. “What are the chances that this child will survive?” 

Rhys looked like he was trying not to cry too. His adam's apple bobbed as he looked at me. Neither of us seemed to have any words. He just held my hand tighter. 

“Your child will likely survive, my Lady,” Madja said with a look of compassion in the corner of her eye. “As I said, human and fae pregnancies are vastly different. Humans have no problem conceiving, in fact, they are far too fertile, but more often than not, they can not carry to term. Fae children are so rare because we are far less fertile, and have trouble conceiving.” I nodded. 

“I need to conduct an examination as soon as possible so that I can give you the most accurate information, but I understand you have very pressing business to attend to,” Madja said, standing up. Rhys stood to walk her out, but I stayed seated. 

“Thank you for everything.” He said, “If you go down the hall, Azriel will be waiting for you. He will see you up to the dawn court after we leave…”I walked over to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. This day had been far too long, and it was nowhere near over. Nor was this long pregnancy, apparently intent to make me cry every five minutes. At least the baby was safe. 

_ That was a lot  _ Rhys said down the bond. He leaned against the doorway, his typical stance.

_ At least we know I can probably carry to term.  _ I splashed more water on my face, trying to help it regain its color. 

_ I didn’t know you were concerned about… I didn't know about your mother.  _

_ That's because I never said anything.  _ I walked over to him, looking up into his eyes.  _ Honestly, I didn't think much of it until I realized it could happen to me too.  _ I wrapped my arms around his neck, he pulled me in, and we simply stood there, enjoying the moment of calm before we winnowed to the dawn court, and entered the storm. 


	19. Arrival

The area Rhys winnowed us into was different than last time. No doubt it was the same palace, but we did not land on the same veranda as we did all those years ago. We were still outside, but much higher up and on a much smaller area, more of a balcony. Even without Azriel, who would be coming later with Madja and perhaps Elain, I felt cramped. But the sky was just as beautiful as I remembered, so were the bits of the palace that weren't obstructed by the large copula in front of us. 

“Thesan said to go down ourselves. Someone will meet us at the bottom of the stairs.” Rhys said. Mor pushed in front of the two of us and walked inside first, likely also suspicious of the instructions. 

_ He’s trying to keep this quiet, even to his servants.  _

_ Why?  _ I questioned, _ What's the point in that?  _

_ The solar courts are still mostly removed from the seasonal courts, but the dawn court especially. His people probably haven't gotten word of your little show yet. Either he’s trying to keep them from panicking or-  _

“Still envious of my home, Lady Feyre?” Thesan stood in front of us, hands behind his back. He looked...tired. I suppose we all do. 

“Always. I tried to convince the builders to steal some ideas from you when we built our home, but it would have looked far too out of place,” I said, giving him a slight smile. 

“And how are your people? The refugees?” 

“Isn't this all talk for our meeting at hand?” 

“Forgive me,” He said, “I am...eager to get this all over with as soon as possible.” He paused for a moment before turning. “This way, please.” 

I gripped Rhy’s hand,  _ Somethings wrong here.  _

Rhys only gave a slight nod before checking:  _ Sheilds?  _

_ Thick as obsidian.  _

“I’m surprised to see you without your entire posse, Rhysand,” Thesan said from further down the corridor. 

“Don’t fret, they will be joining us, but as you can imagine, protecting our people is the highest priority at this time.” The rest of the long walk through the castle halls were mostly silent, void of any banter we all usually kept up. Eventually, we reached the great room where we all stood when the wall broke. Tarquin, Helion, Kallas, and Viviane were already seated around a large table, looking exhausted. 

“Please be seated,” Thesan muttered. We took our seats, Mor standing behind us like the rest of the Lord's seconds. “Baron and Tamlin will not be joining us, so we may call this meeting into session.” The various guards around the room shuffled out and shut the tall doors, leaving the room once made of open-air and columns dark, the only light streaming from the sunroof. 

Rhys slammed a shield around the three of us, more durable than the one he had put up upon landing. It was his turn to tighten his hold on my hand. 

“What was the last news you received?” Thesan said, staring my mate directly in the eye. 

“Of the burnings, and handings.” 

“I'm afraid, old friend, that that is old news,” Thesan said, bowing his head. Tarquin let out a long sigh next to him. “There is talk...There is talk of rebellion.” 


	20. The Meeting: Part 1

The word resounded in the room like the screeching of a singing bowl. The others already knew, likely already affected by it. 

_ How did we not-  _

_ I don't know.  _

“Rebellion?” I said aloud. My voice was suddenly hoarse. “By whom?” 

“The lower fae, who the hell did you think?” Tarquin said, throwing a hand in the air. Rhys glared at him, and if I wasn't so shocked, I would have too. “Sorry,” He muttered. “Things are insane down there. I haven't got a wink of sleep since Calanmai.”

“It seems,” Thesian said, “that the fae of the Spring and Autumn court have had enough of their High Lords.” 

“That's one way to put it,” Kallias sneered. “You three are fine up here, removed from the rest of us who are trying to keep Baron from burning down half the-”

“It's not like life is so great up here, we are taking refu-” Helion cut in. 

“Not enough, fae are spilling onto my beaches-” Everyone was talking over one another. It looked like Tarquin was about to pummel Helion when Rhys said, 

“For the love of the Mother, someone tell us what's going on and why the hell my people haven't heard an ounce of news about this.” His expression was grim, darker than I had seen in a long while. He was glaring at everyone, teeth slightly bared, waiting for someone to respond. I slid my hand over his thigh, but his tension didn't lessen. 

It was Viviane who finally spoke up; “After we all left and started taking a few asylum seekers, Tamlin went nuts. He burned half his forest down, empty homes of fae who left, and hung the family of that fae you used..a puca, I think. But you knew that, didn't you?” I nodded, still moving my thumb back and forth across my mates thigh. “It got worse. He sent his guard into what was left of the woods and to the distant villages. They executed whole tribes of lesser fae. Suriel families, Water-Wraiths, it didn't make any sense.” Of course, they wouldn't know why. What would they do if they found out? My hands were shaking. “The fire spread all over, even to homes by his palace,” Rhys grabbed my hand from his leg. “But they started fighting back, attacking the guard. Once word hit the Autumn court by dawn, I suppose they thought it was an appealing idea.”

“That's why you all are being so secretive, “ I said, glaring at Thesan, “Because you don't want your people to realize it might be possible to-” 

“But, it's not possible, Feyre!” Tarquin snapped, slamming a hand on the table. “We aren’t looking at rebellion. We are witnessing an execution!” I was doing my best to keep my whole body from trembling. My fault. This was my fault. 

“They are fighting back, but they aren't surviving! Bodies are piled up on the sides of the streets if they aren't being turned to ash” My fault. My fault. My Fault.

_ Feyre  _

“Baron and Tamlin are having a fucking field day, slaughtering everyone whos ever crossed them, its blood lust for days!” 

“How many,” I half barked at the men across the table. They all looked at each other, sensing the rage boiling under my skin.

“How...Many…” I was gripping the edge of my chair like it was the only thing keeping me on from unleashing myself onto them. 

“Someone answered her.”

“If we are lucky, upwards of 10,000,” Thesan muttered, “but that’s wishful thinking.” All I could hear was the roaring in my ears. More than...I couldn't even bear to think it. All of them, just because I couldn't keep my damn mouth shut. Why could I never keep my mouth shut? They would be alive if I had just kept my fucking mouth shut. 

_ Feyre  _

They would all be safe if I had just let him take me. God, so many people would be living. Not just now, so many so many so many

_ Feyre  _

My fault my fault my fault my fault my fault.

_ Feyre  _

“And that's not the worst part. “ Helion said. “He’s got a price over your heads that would pay for even someone of our lifespan to never work again if he doesn't get to you first.” 

“How is that worse?” Vivane shouted at him, “How is that worse than all those fae-” 

“Didn't you notice? “ He drawled, “The Night Court is Going to have an heir.”


	21. The Meeting: Part 2

I wanted to burn all their eyeballs out of their sockets. The way they were staying at me, no not at me, my stomach, the tiny bump, made me feel more defiled than I had in years. Their eyes pierced right through me, straight to my child-- or as Helion had so kindly put it, the heir to The Court of Dreams. 

_ I guess they didn’t know.  _ I noticed Rhys’s presence more as the second past by, pulled out of my thoughts by my own announcement I didn't get the chance to make. He was closer than when we first took our seats, eyes staring into my own, unlike all the others. 

_ No, I suppose they didn't _ . 

“This,” Thesian said, rising from his chair, “Complicates the matters at hand.” He turned to his second standing behind him and whispered something in his ear. Tarquin continued to stare at me, jaw dropped so far down he could catch a pixie. 

“Are you serious?” He said, eyes finally darting to my mate. 

“Do you think I would joke about this Tarquin?” I answered for him. “Do you think I would joke about being with child with a rebellion on the horizon? Do you think I would joke about this with a target on my back bigger than this fucking room?”   
“No, just...Fuck.” He sighed, leaning back in his chair. The feel of the room had changed entirely. Yes, everyone was still incredibly tense, but there was a new kind of thickness in the air. I looked back up at Rhys, concern still in his eyes. 

_ You're such a mother hen,  _ I said down the bond, smirking a bit. 

_ You just told a room of angry males that you are even more precious cargo, don't mind my protectiveness sweetheart.  _

_ I didn’t tell them anything-  _

_ And don't pretend you didn't just blow a fuse-- this day has been too long.  _ He ran a hand along my arm, most of our bodies separated by the large chairs. He was right, I felt like I had been awake for days, but it didn't seem the day would end any time soon. 

“Okay,” Thesan said, sitting back down. “Given the...precariousness of this situation, let's try to wrap this discussion up quickly. I know we can't address everything, however-” 

“Someone will have to know we are all here, and it's best if we disperse quickly,” Viviane said, not even glancing at her mate for approval. High Lady suits her well. 

“Exactly.”

“First things first,” Rhys said, straightening up in his chair, “ I feel its best if we work as a unified force on this as much as possible. We can’t be divided against Tamlin and Beron.” 

“I agree,” I said, “There’s no way we can end this on our own, we have to work together, that’s the only thing that got us all out of war last time.” 

“Who said anything about war?” Kallias said.

“Were we or were we not just speaking of massacres across southern Pyritan?”

“I am of the opinion that we end the rebellion as quickly as possible, and all can be restored. There is no need for war.” He said, glaring at my stomach again. “And especially no need to work against two High Lords, I have no intention in telling them how to run their courts.” 

“Excuse me?” I gaped, “They are abusing power, abusing their people. We have to stop them.” 

“That’s not how things work around here. You should know that by now, or did Rhysand make a mistake pushing you up top?” 

“Watch it,” Mor growled from behind us. 

“I thought we got past that,” Rhys said, eyes shooting daggers at the High Lord of Winter. “After everything, is that what you still think?” 

_ Rhys drop it.  _ I said,  _ They haven’t slept in days. Plus, did you ever really think-  _

“Fuck that,” Tarquin said, “We have proven more than enough that doing things out of tradition or obligation is never a good reason to do something over the past eight years. I’m with Feyre.” 

“I called this meeting not to call us to arms against the Fall and Spring Courts, but to discuss how to prepare ourselves against rebellion,” Thesan said. 

“You mean this is all to figure out how to save our asses, not to stop what's going on down below?” Rhys said flatly. 

“It would be disastrous if the rebellion reached the ears here in the north. If members of our own courts realized it might be possible, the repercussions could be-” 

“I don't know about the rest of you,” Rhys snapped at the other High Lords, “But I have no fear of my people rebelling. If we were fucking up that much, I would hope they would.” 

“You really have no intention of helping all those people? Of stopping them?” I said, my breathing grew shallow. 

Thesan looked down for a moment as if to gather his words, working on saying just the right thing. “I want the killings to stop, but no, I don't wish to attempt to throw two high lords off their throne.” Silence rippled through the room again. I simply didn't understand. Why? Why were they all so okay with this? And why, in the name of the mother, were they so scared of their people?

“Why? Just because that's how it's always been done? Well, there are two of us in this room that prove that systems can be changed for the better,” I said, rising from my seat. “I can not just sit idly by and watch abuse of power like that. And none of you should either. You all know better than I do what happens when power gets to people's heads. I was only un...I was only there for a matter of weeks, and even I understand what happens when people become power-hungry.” 

“Are you suggesting-” Kallas said, but I cut him off. 

“Absolutely. Do you want that fate for their people for your friends? Two people, we all fought beside? I hate Tamlin, I won't pretend otherwise, but even I don't want him to turn into a monster.” Rhys was looking up at me, trying to hide the grin slowly creeping across his face. This was not the time for smiling. As I lowered myself back into my seat, I turned my gaze to the men in front of me whom I had rendered speechless. Next to Kallias, Vivane hung her head, ashamed of her mate's words. If we weren't here, in another place and time, I would tell her to look her mate in the eye and spit on his shoe until he took her seriously. But again, this was not the time or place. 

It was Helion who first broke the silence. He stood up and pushed back from the table. “I'm with Feyre on this one,” He said as he started walking towards the door. “Thesan, next time you want to host a meeting about pacifism, don't call me.” He turned around at the door and pointed at me, “Send me an invite for the baby shower or for storming the castle, your pick.” I couldn't help but smile a bit as the doors shut behind him. 

_ I don’t want to stay here tonight.  _ I said down the bond.  _ I know we went to a lot of trouble and it's really late and-  _

_ I already told Az not to come and to expect us back home this evening.  _ He said, turning to me.  _ I don't want to be here either.  _

_ Are you sure? _

_ Darling, there is nothing I would like more than to sleep in our bed.  _

“Feyre?” Tarquin said to me, not my mate, me. Even after all these years, he and Helion seemed to be the only ones willing to speak directly to me. “If you want to fight against them, truly...The Summer Court will stand with you.” I nodded, and he winnowed out. Rhys put his hands on his knees and slowly stood with me following a few seconds behind. 

“Thank you for updating us, really, I appreciate it,” Rhys said, grabbing my hand, “but don’t bother wasting our time, time we could have spent preparing our court for an attack, working to help those fae, just to say you have no interest outside saving your ass because you didn't govern well enough.” Thesan's face fell. His second reached for his sword. 

“Rhysand, you have no r-” 

“No, you have no right to lay around while fae are being slaughtered just because you don't see them as powerful enough to do anything about. I thought you were better than that.” Mor grabbed Rhys's hand from behind us. The two men in front of us looked ready to bite all our heads off. 

“Vivane,” Mor said. The High Lady looked at her friend under her brow, “When you grow a spine, come find me.” Kallias was lunging towards us, but we had already winnowed out. 


	22. The End to a Very Long Day

I was so tired my knees almost buckled when we landed in the foyer of the river house. I quickly caught myself, so Mor and Rhys didn't see how tired I was. The second we appeared, Rhys was dashing across the room to where Az was leaning in the doorway, looking as exhausted as I felt. 

“What the fuck!” He half-shouted at the spymaster, “How the hell did we not know there was a fucking rebellion raging on!” Az slowly approached him, trying to keep his distance from his angry friend. 

“We have a problem,” Az said in his low voice. “Nuala hasn't come back. I haven't heard from her in hours, Rhys, hours.” 

“What?” I rushed over to his side. What did he mean, she hasn't come back?

“I thought something might have happened when I didn't hear from them at all yesterday, but we were all so busy finding beds for people that I just let it slide and when I heard from them this morning, I just assumed they were fine but-” 

“But what?” I asked him. I grabbed Rhys’s hand, partly to try to soothe his anger, and slightly to calm my nerves. 

“Cerridwen came back without her and...Well, I’ll just let you see for yourself.” Az must have let Rhys into his mind because his demeanor changed entirely. 

_ What is it? I _ asked him,  _ What did they do to her? _

“Is she in the house?” Rhys asked Az. He nodded and pointed up. Rhys grabbed the spymaster's shoulder for a moment before turning around, back to Mor. 

“Are you okay to run damage control?” He said, “Keir can not hear about any of this.” Mor nodded and winnowed away. 

_ What did they do?  _ I asked him again. He turned and just stared at me for a moment, before pulling me close and burying his face in my hair. 

_ Hey, It's okay, I’m okay.  _ I tried to reassure him.  _ I’m right here.  _ I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down. He wasn’t shaking, per se, but shadows loomed just under his skin, threatening to spill out and crawl around the house. Just as he had done for me so many times, I filled the room with the calm darkness of the night sky.  _ Rhys?  _

_ I’m sorry,  _ he finally replied. 

_ Don't.  _ I purred down the bond. _You_ _ have nothing to apologize for. This...has been a hell of a day.  _ He pulled me tighter. His arms were completely wrapped around my waist.  _ What did they do?  _ He finally showed me. 

✩✩✩

It was worse in person. Lying on the guest bed in our private quarters, Cerridwen wasn't half shadow like normal, but fully tangent, and slowly bleeding out. One of her legs had been severed at the knee, tied off with a tourniquet. Her body was simply covered in cuts, maybe stabs, not enough bandages to cover them. Madja hovered over her, trying to close up the wounds, but whenever one stopped gushing blood, another appeared. When we came in, she was wrapping bandages over the poor girl's eyes; I hoped never to find out why. 

_ What kind of enchantment is that? _ I asked Rhys,  _ Faebane doesn’t do that, does it? _

_ Not that I know of. I've never seen anything like this.  _ Aside from Cerrdiwens groans and Madjas muttering, the room was dead silent.  _ Az didn't hear about the rebellion until we did. Whatever they were doing to her slowed the correspondents. She tried to tell us about the fires and hangings that first night.  _

_ Why did they do this? Just to get information?  _ Rhys took my arm, and we walked back into the hall to give Madja room to work. 

“Don’t blame yourself.” He said, strolling towards the stairs. 

“I’ll take that advice once you listen to it yourself.” I wrapped my arm around his lower back, trying to find comfort for my feet. “What kind of enchantment could do that? Our faebane remedy isn’t working and faebane can't do that, can it?”

“No, it can't,” He muttered. “As soon as they arrived, Amren started researching. She didn't even go back to her apartment.” 

“That says something.” We were silent for a moment as we reached the end of the hall. “What happens now?” I asked, turning to face him. 

“ I have no idea.” He sighed. “This...I’ve never seen something quite like this. War I know, but…”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, leaning on him. “This never should have happened. If I hadn’t gone overboard at The Spring Court, all those fae would still be alive, and we wouldn’t be at such a high risk.” 

“My darling, you didn't cause this.” He tried to hold me, but I pulled back. 

“Yes, I did Rhys,” I panted, “All of this, this horrific chain reaction I started eight years ago has led to another war. We were supposed to have time, so much time, of as much peace as possible. Time together, time with this,” I shouted, pointing at my stomach. “But, I ruined it.” I sat down on the edge of the stairs. “I opened my mouth and now there are piles of burning bodies on the side of the streets. Bodies of fae who looked to me, lined the streets for our arrival, and now the shadows…” I could barely get my words out. “I should have never said all those things today. Who the hell am I to think that we free those fae, or restructure our government and- I’m just so fucking tired.” He sat down next to me and threw his wings around us. I leaned my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so dramatic.” He let out a little laugh. 

“You have every right to be upset and pretty dramatic.” He ran his fingers up and down my back. “As much as I want to avoid war and live in some utopia or whatever, conflict in our world is completely and utterly unavoidable. Our land is run by a bunch of overpowered dickwads, conflict, death, all of it is bound to happen.” I moved my head from his shoulder to his lap. He rubbed my scalp as I pulled my feet up on the stairs next to us. “If it weren't this that started another dispute, it would have been something else. Plus, may I remind you that Tamlin tried to capture a High Lady, his political equal, if not superior. That, in itself, is a war crime.” I looked up at him. His eyes were soft when they met mine.  _ I’ve said it before and I will keep saying it until you hear. You are not responsible for his actions, Feyre.  _

_ Helion said there was a price on our heads so large- _

_ There's always someone who wants to kill us, darling. You know that.  _ He moved the hair out of my eyes. 

_ But not like that. Not when we have this.  _ I moved his hand to my abdomen. 

_ Listen to me,  _ He said, pulling me up onto his lap. I straddled him and leaned my forehead against his, noses colliding.  _ There are only so many things we can control in this fucked up world. We control what we do, who we ally with, how we handle it when things get bad, what breaks us, when to take action... None of that, none of it involves others. He chose to do all that, not you. Feyre, you decided to stand up against him.  _

_ You're not mad?  _ I muttered down the bond, still a little shaky.  _ I could have just split Prythian in two.  _

_ Feyre darling,  _ he tilted my chin up,  _ I don’t think I have ever been prouder to call you my mate than watching you this afternoon, and that says something.  _

I crashed into him. Tears were still falling from my eyes as our lips intertwined. This--this is what I had been waiting for all day. Not the hormonal swings wide enough to kill a flock of Attors, but Rhys, alone, no refugees or rebellion to worry about. Just him. I felt my core start heating, knowing he was slowly growing under me, but I pulled away. 

“With the threats, is the city safe? Are we safe to stay here?” He sighed, looking down for a moment. 

“We have more guards on patrol, a lot more, and plenty around the castle, but we need to meet with Cas in the morning, just to make sure everything is as tight as possible.” 

“So, yes?” 

“Yes, but,” He paused, running his fingers through my hair, sending a shiver up my spine, “How would you feel about going up to the cabin?” 


	23. Memories and Moans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty smutty. Last time I wrote a smutty chapter I was a junior in high school who knew nothing about anything so hopefully, this is better than the other smutty chapter. I've kept it pretty light on the plot so it can be skipped if you don't like smut.

I didn’t wake up until almost three in the afternoon the next day. We arrived at the cabin in the early hours of the morning, and although I felt like I had been awake for days, the sight of Rhys as he got in the shower drove me wild. When we finally went to bed, my entire body felt sore. It was still stiff when I rolled over to find an empty spot next to me. I jumped out of bed, wrapping the sheets around myself. He’s just in the next room,he’s just in the next room, I reassured myself. Before I could even get out our bedroom door, he was standing in the hall in front of me,

“I thought I heard you get up.” He purred, walking closer to me. I didn’t hold the sheet up much longer.

✩✩✩

Later, in the kitchen, Rhys pulled something out of the oven.

"You cooked?” I asked in disbelief.

“Gods no,” He smirked, turning around to where I was seated on the counter. “When Cass came to brief me, he brought some bread dough Elain insisted on us having. She seems to have even less faith in my cooking than you do.”

“She knows first hand I’m shit at it,” I said, wrapping my legs around him. “What did he say?”

“I wanted to tell you after lunch. I didn’t want to ruin the morning.” He said, kissing my neck. I pulled his head up.

“The sun will set within the hour, and as much as I want to stay here forever, the world is going to shit. Tell me”

He let out a deep sigh. “There’s still no sign of Nuala and Cerridwen is in rough shape. She’s alive, but if it weren’t for Madja’s magic, she would have been long gone.” I planted my hands on his waist and pulled him closer to me. “He said Amren’s on a hunch, thinks she might have found something, but not to wait up for word, and that most of the refugees are in temporary homes and apartments on the edge and inside the city.”

“Do we know what’s happening in the Spring Court?”

“Anyone who goes down there is in danger, so Az is having trouble finding spies to go down, he almost went himself, but your sister stopped him. So, no, not really. But the guard did catch a few of Tamlin’s minions trying to sneak in. Az is…speaking with them now.” I stroked up and down his tense back, his wings drooped.

“Why didn’t you tell me? “I asked, “I can tell its bugging you.” He rested his head on my shoulder. “Even after all these years, you hold so much in so that I, well all of us really, don’t hurt. You know you can tell me things.”

“It's not that its—” he said. He looked around the room for a moment before pulling me off the counter. “I need to show you something.” A little weary, he took my hand and led me over to the bookshelf in the living room where he grabbed what looked like a scrapbook. He sat down on the couch and pulled me next to him.

“What is this?” I asked as he handed me the book.

“It was my mothers.” He said, pulling it open to reveal slightly sloppy longhand, leaning across the first page. It looked a bit like his. “She…well, you know what lengths she went to trying to keep herself barren to spare her wings. It caused some problems. It's practically a miracle me and… anyway, she wrote in this every day she was pregnant with me and again with my sister. She recorded everything; symptoms, milestones, changes, and life in general.” His eyes were glassing over as he stared down at the book. “I found it after she died and just remembered it a few days ago. I flipped through it today and,” Tears were leaking out of his eyes now. I moved even closer to him, trying to comfort my mate. “Her life was so peaceful, Feyre. There was no war, no fighting, and yah, my father was a proper dick, but she was safe. I can’t give that to you.” I sighed and brushed the tears from his cheeks.

“Rhys,” He looked up. His eyes…they didn’t hold back; like all of his shields were down. “We are living in a different world than your mother was when you were born. We hadn’t even gone to war with Hybern for the first time yet. And your mother wasn’t High Lady.”

“That little prick didn’t have the guts to let her,” He muttered

“And you aren’t your father.” I said, “You wouldn’t hide me in The House of Wind to keep me safe, pregnancy or not, while you went and fought all the big boy battles. I never expected safety. Safety is boring and overrated, and something I never put in my life plan.”

I kissed him, lightly, just enough to reassure him. _I love you, and I love our life. Is this the best situation? No, but we are going to get through this together. You aren’t letting me down._

 _I know_ he said down the bond, _I just wish this wasn’t all happening, at least not right now. I wish I could just give you one night of…rest._

 _Then let’s take that night,_ I brushed the hair out of his eyes so that I could soak them in. _No more news, no more rebellion, no more death, not tonight. But tomorrow, we go back to the city, protect the people we love. We have to keep living, Rhys. You taught me that._ He pulled me back in. The book lay forgotten as he grabbed my hips, bringing me all the way into his lap. He kissed me gently like he probably would all night. He was slow and gentle, everything I needed after the clusterfuck of the past week.

I deepened the kiss as I tangled my fingers in his hair but kept our pace, the pace we normally didn’t have time for. Only on the holidays or the occasional birthday did either of us retire before midnight, always working until we couldn’t bear it anymore. It didn’t leave time for much of anything other than a quick session, never mind the foreplay Rhys was so good at torturing me with. At first, I threw myself into my work to distract myself from the memory of the empty echo. I still shiver just thinking about it. I had a feeling after all this was over, we would do the same, but the past few years hadn’t been work for the sake of distraction. There was always something happening; Kier making a scene, Illyrian camps breaking new training laws, problems with human and fae relationships. Being High Lord and Lady meant lots of late nights, piles of paperwork, and quickies between meetings. But not tonight. Tonight, I let myself breathe.

Rhys slid his hand up the back of my shirt and drew little patterns across the small of my back. I let out a stifled moan, not wanting to show Rhys just how strongly my core was throbbing, but I could never really hide anything from Rhys. He seemed content not to pounce, but to take his time tonight. I broke our kiss briefly,

“I love you, so much, Rhys,” I whispered. I would have told him down the bond, but sometimes we need to hear things out loud, even familiar things, we know so deeply to be true.

“My darling mate, you are the answer to every star I’ve ever wished on.” I didn’t need to open my eyes to know I was glowing as I dove back in. I was getting more impatient, more willing to throw softness aside, but he was determined to grant my silent wish. I slowly ground my hips into him. He was already very hard under me when he pulled my shirt off over my head. I practically clawed his off. I went for his pants, but he had other plans, kissing down my neck. I moaned as he began sucking on my breast, rolling my other nipple between his fingers. I tugged at his hair as he switched breasts.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled him back up, eager to touch him. As our tongues wrestled and I pawed at his chest like it was the only thing keeping me sane, the pressure between my legs just grew and grew. When his hand finally brushed the apex of my thighs over my leggings, I let out a moan that was, quite frankly, embarrassingly loud. He chuckled against my neck.

 _I could listen to that all night._ He kept rubbing his fingers in circles over the fabric; I couldn’t even think of a proper comeback

_pleasepleasepleaseplease_

_There’s the magic word._ He pulled off my leggings and underwear. The sight and smell of my drenched undergarments made his cock twitch, so suddenly, I could see it through his pants. He continued tracing circles around me, building more and more pressure as he slid off the couch and pulled me to the edge where he kneeled. I whimpered as he kissed my stomach, my thighs, everywhere, but where I needed him to be.

“Rhys,” I pleaded. It broke him. He went to work, licking the bundle of nerves and slowly pumping his fingers in and out of me. The anticipation and the residual excitement from earlier brought me to my release quickly. My hips bucked off the couch, but he didn’t stop, only slowed himself. I was moaning his name so loudly, I was surprised he could keep himself from pouncing on me. In a classic Rhysand maneuver, no sooner did my insides slow their pulsing did he speed up, pushing me back to the edge.

His teeth scraped against me. I barked my approval, pushing my hips further up.

 _Moremoremoremoremore._ He pushed another finger in, playing with my lips with his thumb. I tried to hold myself back, ride the pleasure further, but when he moaned into me, sending vibrations throughout me, I lost it.

“Rhys,” I growled, gasping for air. He would have kept going, feasting on me until I had recovered if I hadn’t reached up and stroked his wing. He pulled himself up, finally letting me take off his pants. I was sure there wasn’t much blood left for the rest of him when I saw him. Just as my climax lessened, he pushed into me, moving the entire couch backward. Soon, his moans matched my own, loud and desperate for release. My hands found one of the more sensitive spots on his wings, and he spilled into me, crying my name out, over and over, sending me over once again.

We lay there for a moment, trying to force oxygen back into our lungs. _I’m so glad,_ I purred down the bond, _that we have forever to do this._ He held me tightly, his face in my hair.

_Am I going to get my turn to taste you tonight, mate?_

I did.


	24. A Pregnant Pause

_Rhys was soaring high above me, weaving between the trees that surrounded the clearing, just outside his old Illyrian training camp. It was a good place for a picnic if we had time for picnics. We must have, as there was an old blanket under me, a basket of food under my arm._

_“Show off!” I shouted up at him from my spot on the ground. He chuckled and swooped back down, blowing up my skirt with the wind from his wings. He rested his hand on my swollen stomach and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek._

_“I can’t wait till we get him out of there, so we can fly together again.” I bopped him upside the head._

_Not to meet him?” I asked with a smirk. He moved in front of me, leaning so close I could practically feel his lips moving when he spoke._

_Well, of course, I can’t wait to see his little face, but it will be rather splendid to get you back up in the air.” I pulled him in for a quick kiss, but my stomach got in the way, keeping us from becoming completely entangled in one another. “Plus,” He muttered, “I would really like to be able to fuck you again without being scared, I'll crush his little head.” He made a move towards the basket of food and started unpacking the lunch Elain must have made us._

_Personally, I can’t wait until I can drink again.” I said, taking the sandwich from his hand. “It’s no fun watching you all drink while I just sit there with my nausea tonic. It made me realize how insane we look wasted.”_

_“Tell you what,” He said, sliding closer, “Until he decides to make an appearance, I’ll sit through sobriety with you.”_

_“That’s very kind of you,” I teased. “I’m just ready for him to hurry up and get here. I wanna meet him more than anything.” Rhys put a loving hand over my belly. The baby let out a little kick that made us both grin like maniacs._

_“Any day darling,” He purred, “We will meet him any day now.”_

✩✩✩

It was the first nice dream I had since I found out we’d be going to the Spring Court. Not that I was having nightmares every night, but they haven’t been pleasant. It was a nice change, just like last night. When I woke, the sun was peaking over our window ledge, dancing across Rhys’s nose. He was still deep in sleeps arms; his dreams probably not as pleasant as my own. I brushed my lips to his forehead before slipping out of bed. Thankful for the lack of morning sickness, I pulled on my robe and went to the kitchen for a bite to eat before it caught up to me. Disregarding the jelly that had been in the icebox for who knows how long, I sliced Elain’s bread and moved over to the table.

Rhys’s mothers’ book was still open from where we shoved it aside the night before. Her handwriting was so much like his. They both wrote with a large slant and forgot to cross half the T’s. The only noticeable difference was in the loops. His were thin and tall, but every loop in his mother's writing was short and fat. I knew she tutored him, and the other brooding bats they lived with, but I never thought about how much attention she must have paid for their script to be so similar. Maybe that’s where his patience for teaching me all those years ago came from.

He always said she would have loved me. I wanted to believe him. Rationally, I knew that the woman who sewed dresses for me before I was even dreamed of, who hid my engagement ring in the Weaver’s lair to ensure I was a fair match for her son, the woman who should have been High Lady herself would at least tolerate me. But, if she could see me, would she ever forgive me for my association with the man who hung her wings on his wall like a hunting trophy? I would never know.

I flipped back to the first page, but before I could start reading, I heard Rhys’s footsteps thundering down the hall. He was white as a ghost when he slid into the room. I stood up and walked over to him as color reentered his cheeks.

 _There you are,_ he said down the bond, _You weren’t there when I woke up, and you always sleep later than me, and I thought for a minute—_ I kissed him to ease his rambling thoughts. He wrapped his arms around my waist and scooped me up. I wrapped my legs around him as my robe fell off. Just as I started kissing down his neck, there was a sharp rattling on the door.

“Put some clothes on, you horny shits, I got news.”

✩✩✩

Fifteen minutes later, after throwing on some clothes and grabbing everything we had brought up with us, Rhys winnowed the three of us to the outskirts of Velaris.

 _I had to put a shield around the city to stop anyone from winnowing in._ Rhys explained when he noticed my puzzled look as we landed on the soft ground. _We’re not talking any chances._ Cass took off on his own, shooting towards the city. I began to shift out my wings, but I remembered what Madja said about flying and quickly stopped, letting Rhys carry me into the city. A cold shiver went down my spine when we passed through the new barrier arching over the city. Perhaps our 24 hours of ignorance had cost us more than we expected. 

The streets below us were oddly crowded for mid-morning. The population had grown significantly in the past few days, and although we weren’t sure of the exact numbers, it was a large enough change that we would have to budget for it soon. Now, however, there are much more pressing matters at hand than the city budget.

A few former members of the Spring court were walking in front of the river home when we landed. They tried to hide their amazement, but their jaws snapped shut a moment too late. They would have to get used to Illyrian warriors flying through the skies eventually. I gave them a little wave before Cassian moved to hurry us inside.

“Everyone’s already in the meeting room,” Cass said to us as we approached the front doors. There were two members of the city guard on either side, a new precaution, just in case anyone tried anything sneaky while our guards were down, feeling safe in our own home. We hurried through the foyer and through a side corridor to the meeting room. We typically gathered there once a month to touch base with our circle at the same time. It usually ended with a bottle of wine and recountings of the old stories I’m still learning, but not today.

Today, there would be no wine, no roaring laughter, no sparring on the roof after. Today, we would prepare to go to war.


	25. A Friendly Discussion about War Crimes

Everyone grew silent as the three of us walked into the room. As Cassian closed the door and took his seat, I scanned the room. I was surprised to see my sisters looking back up at me, both of whom rarely wished to be involved in running our court. Even more surprising was Mor, sitting silently next to Cass, making eye contact with the ridges in the table. Rhys and I sat down at the large circular table.

“Okay, let's get started.” He said, grabbing the file folder Az slid across the table to him. “Refugees?”

Azriel nodded. “Population, individual files, places of residents, and so on.” Rhys handed the massive file to me to flip through.

“Have there been any problems?” I asked. He shook his head.

“Nothing more than scared fae having trouble adjusting.”

“Good,” Rhys said. I handed the folder back to him, and he placed it under his chair. “In the future, we will need to spend more time working with aid, but for now, we have far greater matters to discuss.”

“Have you heard anything from Nuala?” I asked the spymaster. He closed his eyes and shook his head again.

“No one comes in or out of the two southernmost courts anymore.” He said grimly. “It would be a suicide mission to try to get her out, or to send anyone else down.”

“So, we have no new information?” Rhys asked.

“Not exactly.” Amren said, “Varian got in contact with me this morning. He said that the borders were closed, so it was hard to know what was going on, but that they hadn’t seen any fires, and no one has made any attacks in the Summer Court.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Elain asked.

“Not smelling the smoke, girl, does not prove the absence of flames.” Elain slumped a little in her chair. Amren turned to look at me. “They suspect no one is coming through because they can't reach the border. No one knows more than that.”

“We have to send someone down there.” I insisted. “I would go down myself if it wasn’t for…the baby. I’ve infiltrated the Spring Court once I can do it again.”

“No, “Rhys rasped. _I can’t go through that again._ I put a hand on his arm and nodded. “But you’re right. We need an informant of some kind. The Spring Court members who snuck over the border, are they talking at all.”

“Yes and no,” Az said. “They know jack shit about the rebellion and the current state of the people, but once I got them started, there wasn’t much they didn’t tell us about their High Lord. It seems like Tamlin has been preparing for quite some time.”

“Preparing how?” Mor asked, speaking for the first time since we came back home. Az looked over and Nesta and nodded, Out of her pocket, she pulled a long vial, filled with shimmering powder.

“I caught one of Tamlin’s cronies coming in via the ocean. The little bitch swam up here, fuckin’ shifters. Three of these were strapped to his arm. He tried to open one and force it down my mouth; you’re lucky he survived long enough to start talking.”

“Madja thinks its mutated faebane,” Az said.

“Mutated?” I asked “how the hell—”

“We have no clue,” He said shaking his head, “But if what the assassin said was true,”

“What did he say?” Rhys asked, calmly. Too calmly. I reached for his hand and held on tight.

“He said that when poisoned with a small dose, it nullifies your natural power, replacing it with some strange version of its own magic.” Nesta said, “Apparently when Tamlin found it, he…He tested…on humans first, to see what it would do. In small doses, it healed them. But when he gave it to the high fae, in low doses, they lost their powers, found new ones for a few hours, then fell into a trance. But with a whole vial, supposedly, they went mad. Ripped everything in the room to shreds, and if they survived it, they couldn’t be healed after.”

“That’s why Cerridwen can’t heal and is unresponsive,” I said, in shock. How long had Tamlin had such a weapon? How did he make it? And Why, why would he resort to sending an assassin with it?

“Give It to me,” Amren said, deadly still. Nesta slowly reached over the table and handed her the vial. We all sat, barely daring to breathe as she inspected the powder. She looked as pasty as she did after she climbed out of the cauldron. “You fucking idiots.” She huffed. She glared at Nesta and Az, “Why didn’t you show us this the moment you found it.” The looked stunned, unable to speak. She turned to Rhys, jaw twitching. “This is not from our world.”

My mind was swimming. I could barely process her words. It appeared Rhys couldn’t either. He took a labored breath and asked, “Is it from yours?” We never spoke of Amren’s past life and her true nature that she sacrificed in the war against Hybern. None of us knew what she was, how she got here, or where she came from, and I didn’t think she would choose to reveal it now.

“No.”

“Do you know where it comes from or how he got it?”

“No.”

“Do you think you can find out?”

“Yes.” She almost whispered the word. “I can check the library first, but there is someone who may know more than I do.” All eyes were on her. She tried to compose herself, but she just gripped the vial tighter. “Someone—some _thing_ in the prison. Barley more than a shadow.”

“Who?” I asked, fearing the answer.

“I will not speak his name until I have exhausted every last resource.” Rhys nodded. Even he feared some of the inhabitants of the prison; knew it would be a last resort. My head was pounding. There would be time to process it all later. I couldn’t afford to think about how he got it, what it could do, or if he really wanted it to destroy me.

“We need to speak to the assassin as soon as possible.” I said, to Azriel. “and we need to find somewhere safe to keep _that_ , and everything else the assassins had with them. We don’t know if it can impregnate weapons.”

“What does Kier know?” Rhys asked his cousin.

“He knows about the rebellion. Eris told him, the little shit, But he is well aware of what would happen to him if he pulled anything like that. He wants to speak to you, but never mind _him_ ,” Mor said, bracing her hands on the table. “Are we all just going to sit here and ignore the fact that Tamlin had committed more war crimes in the past week than I can count and has clearly been prepared to attack for a long time?”

“I was getting to that, yes,” Rhys said.

“How are you so calm?” She said, “He tried to enslave your mate, my High Lady, carrying the future of the Court of Dreams, is sending assassins over our borders to kill you with otherworldly fucking dust, and causing a massacre with death tolls so high that can’t be counted. How? How are you just fucking sitting here!”

“I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I haven’t thought about going to his mansion, breaking his mind piece by piece, and watch his writhe on the floor until he dies in a pile of his own shit.” I put a hand on his thigh. “He wouldn’t have even lived long enough to make his mistakes. Unfortunately, not only do I owe him my life, but if I did that, we would be no better than him and everything we fight against.” We shouldn’t have taken yesterday. The look in Mor’s eyes was enough to prove that we had lost very valuable time. “We can’t afford a war right now. Not so soon. We are still rebuilding, and with everything else going on, rushing into combat is not a luxury that we have.”

“What about you?” She spat at me. “Are you really okay with this? After everything he did to you, are you really okay sitting back and letting him set fire to his court? Did you forget everything you said at the meeting?”

“No, of course not.” I struggled to find my words. I hadn’t seen Mor so angry in years. “I meant everything I said about fighting against them, and I plan to do so. But I’m not about to declare war against two courts with no clear image of what they are doing, what resources we have to fight against them, and with no one else supporting us with anything other than promises so weak they couldn’t begin to be considered a bargain.” Rhys looked at me, giving a little nod. “You all have more experience with this than I will ever have, but even I know this isn’t something to rush into.”

“We have troops proacting the city and a few legions who would be willing to brave a battle, but not enough,” Cass said, looking at Mor, not us.

“Right now, our focus needs to be on finding more information. Learning the source of the poison, figuring out what Tamlin and Beron are up to, and contacting our allies.” Rhys said, gripping my hand. I think he was reassuring himself more than he was reassuring me.

“Preparation is the name of the game now. But I do not doubt that this will end on a battlefield. Is everyone in agreement?” I asked. Around the room, our friends slowly nodded their heads. Mor’s head dipped down last.

“Then it's settled. We wait,” Rhys said before he started giving everyone instructions as to our next move. I could feel how tense he was down the bond. I shot a wave of warmth to him and watched his face soften a bit. “Cassian, increase the border control and have a legion of Illyrians ready to fly south, just in case. Azriel, we need more information out of the assassins or spies, whoever they are.”

“Elain, can you send letters to Helion, Tarquin, and Lucian asking for aid and information?” I asked. My sister nodded, swallowing hard. “Nesta, how hard would it be to warn humans of the danger just above them?”

“Easy enough.” She shrugged.

“Then do it,” Rhys said. “Amren, we need to know as much as possible about that powder. And Mor,” He said with a sigh, looking at his cousin with a hint of regret in his eyes. “Tell Kier we will be in Hewn city by dusk.” I had to look down. I couldn’t bear seeing the hurt in my friend’s face. Rhys had told me years ago that making these kinds of calls, and larger, more damaging ones, was the hardest part of the job. Even smaller things, like sending her back to her father after our meeting, causing little hurts, never got easier. I knew what he said still reined true when I saw the look on his face after everyone else had filed out. I clambered onto his lap and buried myself in his chest.

 _Thought for a thought?_ I asked him.

 _I don’t know how I did this for so long all alone, or how the others do it, without someone to share the burden._ He put his hands on my back and buried his face in my hair.

 _I am honored to share that burden with you—every day._ We sat there, trying to digest everything the meeting had brought. Finally, I looked up at him. _I don’t care what Tamlin has done. If there was a way to put him in his place without all this, I would. I don’t want another war, and I’m scared of what this one will bring._

_I am too Feyre. I am too._


	26. Hewn City

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!
> 
> I'm really sorry about my absence. Not only have I not been inspired to write much as of late, but I also got a job and 'graduated' high school. Hopefully, I will be able to post more regularly soon. Enjoy!

I felt Rhys’s eyes on me as I slipped one of my more revealing gowns over my head. He had already changed into his favorite suit for going to terrorize our other court until they remember a shred of obedience. When I turned around, he tried to make himself look busy with the papers sprawled next to him on our bed, but he knew from my look that he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going through that mind of yours or are you just going to brood?” I asked, walking over to our dresser to paint my face with all the ridiculous powders and balms (a skill I had only recently acquired). He sat up and walked behind me, his head appearing just slightly over mine in the mirror. “Out with it.”

“There are about fifty different ways visiting Hewn City tonight could go wrong,” he said, putting his hands on my shoulders. I leaned closer to the mirror and painted my lips blood red. “Half of them involve Kier losing his shit when he finds out you're pregnant, finally ruining his chances of regaining control over the court. He’s not going to take the news well, and I cant…The other half involves Mor falling off the edge she’s sitting on today, and all of them are making me regret waiting for her to kill him all these years and not just unleashing Cass and Azriel right after the war.” When I filled in all the spots on my lips I spun around on the bench to face my mate.

“If we weren’t preparing to declare a civil war, I would have no qualms with either of us making that order, but as it stands we don’t have the resources to keep his Darkbringers from revolting if we were to kill him and they knew we were in another court.”

“I know.”

“Do you think there’s any chance he will try to side with Beron because of his alliance with Eris or is that out of the question?” I asked him, standing as I slid my earrings in.

“I doubt Eris will side with his father. He likely sees this as a way he can take power without the members of the Autumn Court feeling betrayed, but we can't rule it out completely. If he does wish to side with Beron…I’m not entirely sure what we will do, but I will have to see it that he is no longer in control of his army.” I straightened my back and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Whenever we get a moment of peace, you need a trim or you’ll be going into the battlefield blinded.” He chucked and grabbed my other hand, bringing it to his waist.

 _But then you wouldn’t fuss about it so much,_ he purred down the bond. I pulled my hand back and made a rather obscene gesture at him. He grinned and pushed my hand aside, walking back to the dresser where our crowns sat precariously atop a jewelry chest. We had been too tired to put them away since we returned from the Spring Court. He took mine and nestled it in my hair. As I placed his atop his head and straightened it, his eyes were devouring me in the sight of my dress. One of the things Mor had taught me over the years was the art of choosing a costume for Hewn City and just how beneficial it was to have certain dresses that never saw the light of Velaris. Dresses worn only to be poisoned. The maroon gown I dawned that evening hugged my upper body tightly, but rippled around my stomach and legs, hiding the one thing I prayed Kier would not notice.

 _If he finds out, and he so much as looks at me the wrong way,_ I said to Rhys. _I want the first shot._

He laced his fingers with mine and began to winnow us downstairs. _I would expect nothing less._

✩✩✩

An hour later, Rhys clutched me to his chest as we soared over the city limits. He and Cass had already flown Mor, Amren, and Nesta over the border so they could winnow to the Court of Nightmares. Azriel, busy beating himself up about Nuala and Cerridwen, had volunteered to stay behind to watch the city, but part of me wondered if he stayed behind to avoid seeing Mor, still tense from this morning. She had practically growled at Rhys not to surprise her when she and Cassian flew off the roof of the River House. Even though he and Elain were as happy as they can be, Az may never be able to cast the feisty blonde from his mind.

 _I don’t know if I’ll be able to go for another 9 months without flying._ I said to Rhys down the bond, trying to distract myself from the possibility of centuries-old drama messing with my sister's love life. 

_Technically, Madja did say you could fly for a few more months, but I can't complain about having you hold on to me for dear life every time we need to go somewhere._

_Prick._ He chuckled and started diving for the forest floor. _I don’t want to risk it._

 _I know._ We banked and landed in a clearing that Az had once taken me to when I was learning how to fly. Rhys set me down gently and fixed my hair before taking my hand to winnow us. _I don’t want to risk it either._ The world folded around us, slowly because of the distance until we found ourselves directly in front of the throne room door. We realized pretty quickly after the war when things were drawn up from under the surface and we began to heal again, that avoiding the entrance of The Court of Nightmares made it easier. Even if we were suffocated by rock, at least we didn’t have to watch the mountain swallow us whole.

Mor was already inside, addressing the inhabitants of the dark city. I could hear her through the door, warning them to remember their place. The others stood around the door, waiting for our arrival.

“It's about time,” Cass said. “She’s been stalling for about five minutes, going on and on about how what a piss poor mood you’ve been in since The Spring Court.”

“Have not,” Rhys said, fixing his expression to fit the uncaring, cruel reputation we held here.

“I wasn’t talking about you.” He said, tapping his Siphons and falling in front of us. “Pays to be on time, but if you feel like calling her bluff, there are some things in there I wouldn’t mind seeing castrated.” I tried not to chuckle as I willed all emotion from my face.

Cassian threw his first against the door once, signaling to Mor that we were ready. He went in first with Nesta, who after an incident on her first visit to Hewn City after returning from the Illyrian mountains, is just as feared as the male next to her. Amren slunk in behind them a moment later. Rhys grabbed my hand and held it tight as he released a bit of his power, shaking the doorframe. I too, let a piece of myself escape and flow through the entrance hall. I squeezed his hand back and willed the door to open.

I kept my eyes on the dais as we strode down the throne room. Behind us, the crowd began to fall to their knees. Every time I heard the dull thunk on the marble floor below, memories ran through my mind, of every time they refused to bow for me. Rhys held my hand as we walked up the steps and sat in the large thrones, Keir made sure to place slightly too far apart. I glared at all the high fae kneeling before me, running everything that had happened in the past week in my mind over and over, trying to simulate the rage that Mor warned them of. Not straying from the plan, Rhys spoke to them first.

“Lower.” His drawling voice echoed throughout the room as they slowly bent further to the ground. I pained me to watch our friends curl over until their noses, like every other fae in the room, was hovering inches above the ground. I let that pain fill me until I didn’t have to fake the scowl running across my face anymore. After a moments silence, my mate spoke again. “Good to see you decided to play nice, today.” I sent out a shot of my power, scraping a claw against every mind, looking for anyone stupid enough not to shield themselves. I watched as they recoiled, squirming, trying not to raise their heads any higher. Finally, I found one, a male towards the banquet table, with walls as thin as paper. Rhys gave a gentle tug on the bond, knowing how hard this was for me. How this male was so open when he knew what Rhys and I were was completely beyond me. I ripped his shields to shreds, keeping one foot out the door and peeked inside. The minds of the dwellers of Hewn City were dark and bloody, but this one more than most. He was practically shouting his true opinions on what was happening in the seasonal courts. 

“What was that?” I said slowly, staring at him. I dug my claws into him. He fell onto his arms as his legs gave out and I watched as he slowly collapsed on the floor. Only once he was rendered unconscious did I let go. As I left his mind, his entire body twitched and went limp.

 _He’s not dead._ Rhys assured me, noting how taught my own body had become. I glared out on the crowd, not daring to let my mask slip. The male sprawled on the floor wanted me dead, wanted Rhys dead, wanted the court to fall, and yet, it still took every ounce of strength I had not to lean over the side of the dais and vomit all over Kier's shoes.

“Might I remind you,” I said, addressing the court in a voice barely louder than a whisper, “that as we speak, Fae with more magic in a drop of their blood than most of you have in your family tree, are finding themselves dead in their homes, slaughtered by their high lords who can barely hold their own on the battlefield. Imagine what the thing they made can do.” Rhys tugged again, sending me images of us, our family, the view of the stars above the River House. “Stop sniffing the floor and go play.” No one rushed for the male as they rose. Eerie music filled the room, cautiously.

They were scared. Scared of me.

Good. They spent too long pretending I was a thing to play with, not their High Lady.

I looked over at Rhys, nostrils still flared. His face was void of all emotion, but his eyes were soft and full of truth. I let myself lean back and relax my muscles. I tried to put everything I had seen in the male’s mind aside so we could get to business, but I couldn’t stop hearing all those awful whispers about me and my mate.

“Kier,” Rhys called. The steward scampered over to the foot of the dais, looking up at us from under his brow.

“Yes, my Lord?” He said. Mor was staring at her father from her spot on the wall.

“There are important matters to discuss,” He said, “But first, I need the report you promised.”

“Perhaps we should meet in the council room-“

“No,” Rhys barked. “Report. Now.” Kier was glaring at him with so much anger in his eyes that I almost moved to shield him, but that wouldn’t be necessary. Kier would never lay a hand on Rhysand. I, however, am a different matter.

“There have been attempts to leave the city, but they are few in numbers. My citizens are angry and they wish to leave.”

“What a brilliant coincidence,” He said, picking at his nails. “You and your advisors are the only ones who have ever had any desire to leave, yet as violence rages below, so many become eager to see the sun.”

“My Lord, I-“

“I’ve changed my mind, Council Room, fifteen minutes. Bring your guest with you.” Rhys waved his hand at Kier as the dumbstruck male slowly walked away. Only once he had his back fully turned did Rhys turn to me.

 _Are you okay?_ I felt his phantom hands stroke down my spine. I was so tense I almost shuttered.

 _You’re such a mother hen, you know that?_ I gave him a little smirk.

_Don’t deflect. Are you okay?_

_Okay enough._ I tugged back on the bond, trying to reassure him. He didn’t back down. _I’m okay enough to make it through this meeting, get the job done, and not completely fall apart after._

 _Good_ , _because Eris is here._ I looked toward Mor, still standing by the wall with Cass. _She knows,_ he said. _I told her as soon as I realized._

_If you’re planning on pulling something that will make her explode, your ass is going to be on the couch for the next week._

_I would expect nothing less._ He stood and held his hand out to me. On the outside, he was still blank, but I could feel his smile in my mind. I stood and took his hand. As we walked down towards the doors I got another glimpse of the male, still sprawled on the floor. His arm was bent in a way I hadn’t moved it, as if someone had trampled him. I dragged my eyes away and held my head high. The others fell into line slightly behind us and we walked out the doors into the hall, where we let ourselves breathe for a moment, before going to gamble our lives with a male who acted on spite, never logic or love.


End file.
